


All of My Life

by felicialovescats



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Minor Character Death, Omega Severus Snape, Omega in Hiding, Rape/Non-con Elements, Soulmates, a little bit of Harry/Neville but not the main point of the story, but they deserved it, off-scene violence, pregnancy resulting from the non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-10 02:24:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 43,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16461656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felicialovescats/pseuds/felicialovescats
Summary: He waited all of his life, dreading the day. All lore and legends say that everything would be alright, once he met his soulmate, once he scented home in someone. But they were wrong.Because he met him, but nothing is going right. No one can make this right.After all, he was the defective one, the broken one. Of course the world will give him a soulmate that is not his.





	All of My Life

**Author's Note:**

> Rape/non-con warning. 
> 
> I find that I have a certain thing for that, as well as Omega-in-hiding thing. Most of my WIPs are a mixture of those lol.  
> I tried to make this as complete as it could be, but I do have some ideas for continuation. But this thing has been in my folder since years ago, so I figure might as well get some ideas from you guys. Please be kind, I'm having finals and here I am, procrastinating.
> 
> Title from All of My Life by Park Won, because I was listening to that to find an inspiration for the title. The title of this in my file was just Omega Sev, which, while true, isn't exactly a good one lol.
> 
> Happy reading :)

Severus Snape knew that he shouldn’t have even thought about today being a good day, but to be fair it really was a good day. Rare though that it was, he had woken up feeling refreshed with no homework nor test to mark, and there was already a freshly brewed coffee waiting for him when he finished his morning rituals.

 

Enjoying the rarity of peacefulness of the day, Severus had sunk down on his comfy seat, and had thought about how nice today was. He could even bear to forget the classes he had to teach later; one class in particular - Sixth year Slytherins and Gryffindors.

 

This day was the first day since years that he had felt so peaceful, especially after last year.

 

Last year... When the Boy-Who-Lived turned fifteen...

 

It was a chaos, the whole year. Voldemort had decided to risk it all and attack the school one night. The army that he had managed to gather on a short notice was impressive and worrying. The Light side was lucky that Severus was included in those meetings – there once was a time where Severus was not trusted with information like those. A few months of groveling and secret missions finally brought him back to the circle.

 

With information as crucial as that, being the spy, of course he told Albus. The old Beta had thus begun to prepare the students and the staff for war.

 

By the time the wards of Hogwarts were allowed to fall, most of the vulnerable students were sent to other locations. Those who wished to fight stayed, including the Golden Trio. All the professors stayed, with Albus leading them towards war.

 

They had won the war, with the joint effort of Harry Potter, him and Albus Dumbledore. Together their magic was powerful enough to send the Dark Lord to his death. However, the magical backlash was so strong that the three of them was knocked out immediately after that.

 

Later Severus found out that with Voldemort’s death, the Dark Mark faded away, and the bond between the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters broke. And when that had happened, most of the Death Eaters managed to get away before the Order, as well as the Aurors, knew what had happened.

 

And with the three strongest wizards down for the count, most of the influential and powerful Death Eaters managed to escape with their life.

 

It was with great effort that, after a few months, most of them were caught with Severus’ information. Unfortunately the only ones that were free were the most dangerous ones - Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange and her husband Rodolphus, and Francis Nott. The search was still on-going, but the Ministry had officially announced that they should be safe from them.

 

So now, in this new year was a new start. And with this pleasant day Severus hoped that all will go well, as least for today.

 

He should have known that for him, that was too much to ask for.

 

* * *

 

 

He didn’t know what went wrong. Perhaps it was everything. Neville Longbottom’s usual clumsy and unfortunate stumble, Draco Malfoy’s deliberate stretch of his leg (he should berate that boy later, when he remembers), Harry Potter’s cauldron, which Severus knew that the boy didn’t put any effort in it and was thus a predictable fail, and an unpredictable mix of ingredients. And add those all up...you’ll get a potion disaster.

 

The moment gases were emitted out the first thing Severus did was breathe a sigh of relief (because it wasn’t an explosion, thank Merlin). Then he sealed the doors and windows, and waved his wand to dismiss the smoke. He took a deep breath to berate the whole class...

 

And noticed that the smell was distinctively familiar to something that was very dangerous in a class of mixed alphas, betas and omegas on suppressants.

 

A swift wave of a wand and all the smoke was vanished, but Severus knew it was too late. He barked to the class, knowing (and hoping) that with the tone of voice all of them will listen to him.

 

‘Those of you who are of omega nature, leave immediately for Madam Pomfrey’s care. Those who are Betas, escort them, two Betas to one omega!’ There were four omegas; Daphne Greengrass, Thomas Nott, Ron Weasley and Hannah Bones, and Severus made sure the Betas, who won’t be as affected by the suppressants was there with each of them.

 

He was thankful that when he raised his voice, everybody followed. Most of them were confused, but after years of being taught by Severus, they knew that the professor does care for their safety, at least when it involved potions.

 

The alphas, frowning in confusion watched as the rest went without question. Severus watched carefully at each of them. ‘Be calm, and stay where you are. I am going to write a letter explaining things to Madam Pomfrey, as well as notes to the other professors.’

 

Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom (and Severus had always wondered about him and his gender as an alpha), Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini shuffled uncomfortable on their feet.

 

Severus penned his letter and sent it with an elf. Then he addressed the crowd.

 

‘The gas just now, that was one of the most potent anti-suppressant I have ever encountered. I would applaud the few of you had you done it deliberately, but as it was clearly an accident I would have to refrain myself. Thankfully as you had just presented for about a year, the doses of suppressants given to you are mild, so you would find yourself only slightly more aggressive than usual.

 

‘I would suggest avoiding any omegas on your way back to your dorm, and _stay there_ for the day to allow the gas to wear off. I had written a note to all the professors so you all are not expected to class. Now go.’

 

Perhaps it was his tone, or his expression, but surprisingly none of them argued with him, though Potter glared at Malfoy, and the glare was returned just as maliciously.

 

‘ _Go.’_ He growled, letting his learnt habits of an alpha to make sure all of them would head to his instructions. A wave of his wand and the door slammed behind the last of them, and Severus slide down to the floor, shivering and shaking.

 

_Oh god of all the things that could have happened to him he did not expect this..._

The cramp in his abdomen told him he had not much time left.

 

The young ones will be fine even if they inhaled more of the anti-suppressants than him. They were only on those suppressants for about a year, so they should only experience a slight fever, and be sexually aroused for a few hours until the newly ingested suppressants work their way through their body.

 

But for him…

 

With shaky limbs, and the help of the table nearby he stood up, and to his horror he could feel his slick starting to drip down his ass and he cannot he cannot risk it this is the school he would be found out and...

 

 _CALM DOWN SEVERUS, YOU’D LOCKED THE DOOR NOW GET TO YOUR OFFICE_ he yelled to himself internally, his limbs moving as fast as he can with all the shaking.

 

When he reached for the box which was under tons and tons of enchantment and charms, the box opened for him immediately. There were ten bottles of potions, and Severus grabbed the one that he needed. Usually he would only need half, but this was an emergency, and he gulped down the whole phial.

 

Immediately the cramp subsided, although the slick remained dripping. But he had had the heat-stopper, hopefully everything would be fine now oh god that was a close call when the next time he will meet this class he would make sure that all of them, especially the three main culprits regret fooling around in his lab.

 

Severus took a few minutes with his knees to his chest, and his head bowed down to calm himself down. _I am fine I am fine I am fine_

A moment later, the calm and collected alpha mask washed over his face, and with a deep breath he stood up, and the usual Severus Snape the Alpha waved his wand to dispel any pheromones, scents and the like from the class room.

 

With a calming nod to himself he headed towards the door that will lead to his personal rooms. He needed a bath, and later, a talk with Dumbledore about how he had been so careless to have released un-suppressed omegas and alphas in the school.

 

* * *

 

Professor Snape, everyone knew, was an alpha. In fact, he was one of the few alphas in the group of professors in Hogwarts, along with Minerva McGonagall and Filius Flitwick. Pomona Sprout and Aurora Sinistra were the only omegas, and the rest of them were Betas, as was Albus Dumbledore.

 

The schools throughout London, no matter Magical or Muggle, had always allowed the coexistence of alphas, betas and omegas, as long as everyone (including the staff and students) accept and regularly had suppressants, usually mild. The omegas were given longer breaks to allow for their heats, as suppressing heats for too long is very harmful to the omega’s health.

 

Heats and ruts were treated seriously, and the omegas are highly valued and thus highly protected in Hogwarts.

 

This was not always the case in the outside world, especially in the Muggle world. Muggles despise omegas, especially male omegas. They are kept closely to their parents, and later when they are married, to their husbands (because Muggles believed that only males alphas or Betas can handle them and their heats). But this treatment is only for those who are lucky.

 

Those who are unlucky... Well, they won’t even have the chance to talk. The moment their heat comes they cease to be a person, and became a breeding stock instead.

 

Muggleborns who were exposed to the new surroundings of the Magical World, the way they treat different genders were amazed. Most of them, especially the omegas always decide to stay, and push away the Muggle world, hiding within the world which cherished omegas, the life-bringers.

 

However, for some... It may have been a little too late to teach them, to tell them that when they are eleven. Too late, when lessons like this needed years to be embedded in young minds.

 

For some, it was too little, too late.

 

But I digress, for what had this to do with Severus Snape, a Muggle-born alpha, who was taught that alphas were the best, they can do no wrong, and they are protected by the thinking that they are strong and mighty, while the omegas are the total opposite, weak and in need of an alpha’s protection (and being their bed-warmer)?

 

It turned out, as you might have seen, quite a lot.

 

* * *

 

It was a long way trip from Albus’ office to his own room. Severus had gone, explained what had happened, and blamed himself (internally) on how he could have avoided this from happening. Albus nodded, offered him tea and lemon drops, and sent him to his way, telling him that it wasn’t his fault as it was an accident.

 

It seemed to him that this was just a small matter, after all, there wasn’t any cases of omegas being raped in the Magical World. Even alphas without their suppressants seemed to have retained their human thinking skills enough to know that they should leave omegas alone unless they are the ones who seek you.

 

Everyone was supposed to be on their suppressants unless they were kinky bastards who wanted to add some flair to their sex lives by adding hormones to the mix. But these suppressants were only mild ones - they only suppress the scent of one’s hormones, and keep ruts/heats fairly tame.

 

But for Severus... He knew how out of control one can be without their suppressants. Especially an omega who had been using suppressants ever since their maturity, no, even since _before_ his maturity. It was fortunate that he always brews more than he needed, just for cases like this.

 

He was just thinking about how it wouldn’t get any worse when all of a sudden, the familiar owl flew in straight from his opened window.

 

It was Lucius’s owl. And with it was a parchment tied to its leg.

 

_How dare he still write to me? When we all know that I am a traitor to the Dark, and of course would have never answer to anything that he says. Not to say that I would immediately report him to the Aurors._

His habits and paranoia led him to cast a few spells to detect any malicious curses within the parchment if he were to open or touch it.

 

The sudden rebounding of the spell took him by surprise. In an instant, the spell warped around him and transported him - not unlike a portkey - to somewhere he had never seen before.

 

The minute he landed on the ground there was an immediate shout of a spell and he was petrified, his body without his muscles to control it fell to the ground, landing on his back.

 

Without being able to move, all Severus could do was to glare at his assailants, and was honestly not surprised to see Lucius Malfoy’s smirking face. Surrounding him was the other missing Death eaters, each having their own proud smile.

 

They were in an old house, Severus could tell. He could hear the old pipes straining to function, and smell the odour of mould.

 

‘Hello, Severus.’ Lucius drawled. ‘I’ve told them that always, the first thing you would do when you receive an unknown letter or a letter from the enemy the first thing you would do is to cast spells on it. Isn’t it clever of me to design my transportation spell using that?’ The blonde alpha stood closer to Severus, and bent down to look him in the eye.

 

At the side, Francis Nott was laughing at a joke Rodolphus Lestrange had whispered to his ear, while Bellatrix Lestrange was crouching at his side, humming a tuneless song.

 

Severus could only glare harder, wishing that he wasn’t so predictable and stupid as to fall into Lucius’ trap. But honestly, he had thought that the war was over now, and never did he ever imagine this situation even if he had spent time thinking about how to round up the rest of the escaped Death Eaters. Not even one that involved himself being petrified.

 

Francis and Rodolphus made their merry way to his side. ‘Hey, Snape. So, you think you can rat us out without any consequences? Because of you our Dark Lord is dead, and all our efforts, wasted.’ Francis snarled, kicking Severus’ left leg. The sharp pain made Severus want to wince, but can’t, due to the spell. He settled for taking a deeper breath than usual.

 

‘Not to say that it was because of you that my brother is now dead!’ Lestrange added, spitting on his face. ‘But his death will be avenged, as well as our Lord’s, and the rest of the Death Eaters that you had led to their death!’

 

Severus closed his eyes, and turned away. He knew what they were going to do, knew it from the moment he saw Lucius’ gaze towards him.

 

There was a punishment that the Dark Lord loved to dish out to the alphas that had, in his mind, wronged him and his cause. It was a known fact that alphas are considered to be the dominant partner in sexual relations, and they, male or female, will never take it _up the arse._ For alphas, that is the most humiliating act of all, and is one of the reason why alpha males commit suicide after being raped by the arse.

 

When the Dark Lord was still in power, and someone in the Death Eater ranks had done something he believed unacceptable, the Dark Lord would prepare such punishment to be doled out, no matter if the person was an alpha or a beta. And the thing was, with the Dark Mark on them, they could not even commit suicide later, much afterwards - the Dark Mark would notify the Lord. The punishment after that will be even worse.

 

The Alpha’s punishment was made a ceremony of a sort; only the Inner Circle and selected others (sometimes their family, to dissuade them from doing the same thing) be resent. The ‘penetrator’ was always the one that had kept himself in the good grades of the Dark Lord, usually Lucius Malfoy and Francis Nott. The Lord himself never participate, only watched.

 

Severus himself had once been the one punished; he was ordered to kill a whole family, but their newborn son was too young, too much like how the Potters were killed that after killing the rest of the family, he left the child behind. He thought he could get away with it, but someone found out, and reported it to the Lord. That night was the worst night, not because he couldn’t stand the humiliation, but he was... his body was still omega enough to enjoy the stimulation that was given. It took every ounce of his Occulmency to make sure he did not get an erection, that his mind was far away enough to distance himself from his body and the received stimulation.

 

No alpha would ever get an erection from being fucked. Only omegas do.

 

Lucius wasn’t the ‘penetrator’ at that time, it was Scrate Lance, one of the newer Death Eater who was the one who had tattle on Severus, and was thus awarded. But ever since then, Lucius had always kept an eye on Severus, wanting a chance to be the one to fuck him.

 

Well, Severus wasn’t an idiot; he never did anything wrong since then, and even if he did, he made sure to cover his tracks cleanly.

 

But now… Lucius’ chance had arrived.

 

‘Nott, end the Petrifus. I’m going to cast the spell.’ Lucius drawled, and Severus tensed, hoping for a moment of them losing concentration so he can escape. But it was as if they had practised or some sort, for the moment the Petrifus was ended Lucius’ spell hit him, and his whole body slacked off, his limbs refusing to listen to his brain’s demand.

 

The spell was a fairly complicated one, meant for occasions like this. Severus himself had helped researched for this; the spell would cut off the body from the mind’s command, essentially making the body as limp and lifeless, and yet still keep the person inside awake and in tune with what was to be done on him. A perfect punishment, watching and feeling everything, yet cannot do anything to protest or defend, not even to make a sound.

 

The spell will only end in two ways; either someone cast the ending spell, or the person must wait for at least a few hours for the spell to dissipate on its own. And by the time the spell dissipates, things have already been done.

 

Knowing no way out, Severus occluded his mind, hid behind layers and layers of walls, and wait for time to pass.

 

There were more dialogues, laughter, but with the hazy grey over his mind, Severus couldn’t hear a thing, or rather, his mind refused to understand. If he were to extract this memory at a later date, he would know what was said, with his own feelings well protected behind his barriers, but for now this haze is good.

 

He could vaguely feel that his robes, clothes and all were Vanished, the sudden cold air made him shiver a little. The touch on his naked back, arm, thighs, ass…

 

_Lay back and think of England, huh…_

The sudden lubricating spell…

 

_Perhaps later when I get back to Hogwarts, maybe a nice blueberry tart…?_

The blunt pressure against his hole… the wince, the harsh breath on his neck, feeling something inside him giving way…

 

_I should probably have a detention with Draco Malfoy, Potter and Longbottom, though perhaps not at the same time… the two alphas and their resulting aggression are not something I look forward to… not to say Longbottom and that utterly distasteful attitude, really, I wonder why is he made an alpha…_

The slap of skin against skin, the touch against his prostate that was barely there, the relief that he was able to train himself to dissociate himself well enough so he wouldn’t get an erection…

 

_A night or two scrubbing cauldrons may give them something to think about, as well as an essay on the dangers of fooling around in the potion lab…_

The hot fluid in his ass, the uncomfortable feeling as it pulled out, another replacing it…

 

_Good Merlin when will this end?_

* * *

 

Severus woke up to the fact that he could finally move again, and that everyone else was gone.

 

Sitting up too quickly notified him of the pain in his head as well as at his arse - the black spots in his vision told him to pause for a while.

 

But he can’t afford that. Shaking his head, he looked around for his wand, hoping for the love of Merlin that Lucius Malfoy didn’t take that away. It was, thankfully, just a couple of feet away from him - a sort of salt in injury way that Lucius loved, as it was too far away for him to reach if he was still under the spell. But as he was not, a simple wandless Accio did the trick.

 

A quick Tempus told him that he was only a couple of hours away after midnight, and although he had a lot of time before breakfast in Hogwarts, he still didn’t know where he was.  He had to be at Hogwarts before the morning people (mainly Filch and McGonagall) starts to wake up and walking rounds in the school, or he would be noticed. A part of him want to stand up immediately and give chase to the bunch of Death Eaters, even though logic told him they would have been gone for a long time for the spell to dissipate on its own.

 

His whole body ached, and he was hungry. Not just that, him sitting up told him another thing: his…attackers didn’t bother with any cleaning spells, leaving their semen within him still.

 

Severus took a couple of minutes to make all the information make sense, and listed down what he wanted to do in order.

 

Lucius Malfoy must have been the one to decide not to cast any cleaning spell, Severus mused. The man loved to leave souvenirs to those that he had ‘visited’, be it a body part of the ones that he had killed, or this. Severus did agree that leaving souvenirs like this would actually make it even more torturous for the victims left behind.

 

However, Severus wasn’t like the rest. He prided himself with his dissociative abilities; he knew when to have a mental break down (never), and when not to.

 

Without any hesitation, he conjured a jar, and with some minor difficulties managed to transfer most of the semen to the jar. Sperms will only last for one or two days out of human body, but Severus was a Potion Master, and a genius.

 

With their sperms, a specific Amplification potion and a strong locator spell, he could find Lucius Malfoy, Francis Nott and Rudolphus Lestrange in less than two days.

 

Standing up gingerly, Severus transfigured a nearby old cloth to a robe. It was nothing like what he was used to, the cloth too scratchy and itching on his skin, but he could manage. First things first, he had to know where he is; if he was too far from Hogsmeade he would risk splinching himself. Not only that, he would have used up all his magic, which in his battered state was highly idiotic; he wouldn’t be able to protect himself if something were to happen.

 

A strong Scorgify on his body got rid of the annoying alpha scents, but it didn’t rid him of his exhaustion. He was certain that one look at him would tell people everything that had happened, and though he was not suicidal, people’s weird looks at him was enough to make him go insane.

 

(He can’t stand people’s staring, looking, gossiping about him; he would start to feel like his soul is jumping out of his skin. That was one of the reasons why he had cultivated his persona as the Greasy Bastard of Hogwarts - students are afraid to look at him, and his colleagues would sooner get out of his way than talk to him, which was totally fine by him.)

 

A look around the pathetic hut to make sure that he didn’t miss anything important, and he stepped out of the hut with his back straight, his pride cloaking him more than the shabby cloak he had on him could have ever done.

 

* * *

 

Severus decided that today (or yesterday, or even both) was not a good day for him at all. First it was the potion incident, then Malfoy. Now, even though he had hoped, prayed that he would not meet someone while he was in this situation, the moment he stepped out of the hut he was greeted with a gasp.

 

‘Oh dear, are you alright?’

 

Severus glared at the man, who was rushing to his side from a couple of feet away. The hut was actually quite secluded, with trees around it. The sky was a splash of blue, pink and white. It was almost time for breakfast, and he had skipped dinner last night - his stomach growled in protest. Severus told it to shut up.

 

The man was now in front of him, bending down so he could see Severus’ face. This up-close Severus noticed that the man had brown warm eyes with laugh lines, scratches and scars that would be gone in a few days, a lovely personal scent, and the hateful alpha scent. He flinched away, taking a step back.

 

Everyone has a scent, a mixture of both their gender, and their personal scent. Some people had said that if one’s personal scent is attractive to another, they are said to be compatible.

 

Severus had never scented such lovely personal scent in his entire life, until now. But the alpha scent turned him away - that only reminded him of what had happened. He took another step back, and tried his best to hold his breathe without it being obvious.

 

‘Where am I?’ He grunted out the question to the stranger, watching as the other man’s nose twitched, and a frown started to form on his face.

 

‘Did something happen…?’ The man’s voice was a mixture of anger and concern - Severus knew that the man had come to some conclusions that he would be lying if he said they were false. But he couldn’t afford this now. He needed to be back at Hogwarts before someone notices.

 

‘Pardon my rudeness, but that is none of your business. Now, tell me where I am.’ Severus’ tone would have made the average children cry, and the average adult do what he had ordered. But this man only pursed his lips, his posture notifying everyone (though only Severus was there) that he was not to be persuaded nor distracted away from what he wanted to know.

 

Severus was dead on his feet, any more questions and he would faint of exhaustion before he could do anything else.

 

‘Please,’ He gritted out. ‘I wish to be on my way to Hogwarts, school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. If you would be so kind as to tell me where I am, or direct me to a Floo I would be most grateful.’

 

There was a slight hesitation from the man, but the constant glare (and perhaps his pathetic situation) convinced him that insisting for an answer now was probably not the best choice of action. The man sighed, and nodded.

 

‘This is the village of Cribeira, and though it is quite far away from Hogwarts, I do have a Floo connection to the closest village… Hogsmeade, is it?’ With Severus’ nod he went on. ‘You would have to come to my place though, there’s nothing here except for that hut. It’s not that far, but can you manage it? Do you need help?’

 

His pride would not allow him to answer anything else but no. Thus with slow steps (and grunts of pain, and heavy breathing from the walk) they made their way to the man’s place.

 

It was quite a long walk due to Severus’ weakness, but he was at least thankful about the fact that the man didn’t not pry further into him and his reasons of being here. From what he could see, this place was practically deserted. To be honest, he was even more curious about the presence of this man at where they were.

 

But since he didn’t ask him about himself, Severus did the man courtesy of refraining to ask as well.

 

The only thing that the man had said about himself during their way to his place was his name - ‘I’m Marcellus Krant, but Marcus will do’ - and about his cousin - ‘She’s teaching in Hogwarts for almost a year now’. He then went off with stories about the creatures in the forest here - ‘Oh, the rabbit that I saw last month was actually, honestly, adopted by a bunch of wild Crups. I am not kidding!’ and ‘Just healed a little tortoise last week, and now he’s moving like a god-damn rabbit! All the stories about tortoises are slow are a pile of bullshit!’, which though dull in the stories itself, but his tone made it seem more interesting than it actually was.

 

Perhaps Severus himself didn’t even realise, but with that non-stop chatter about anything other than what had happened was actually calming him down, the subconscious agitation levelling down to a general grumpy feeling that he cannot describe. His shoulders relaxed just a fraction, his frown a little less pronounced.

 

He didn’t know if it was because of his situation, or was it because of the company, but he knew that were it a normal day and another by his side chattering inanely like this, he would sooner behead himself than listen to another one of the stories. But here, now, this was nice.

 

Of course, anything nice for Severus never last long. They reached the man’s home, and with a simple spell the wards allowed him entry.

 

Severus didn’t spare a glance at his surroundings, not to the comfortable couches, the full book shelves, the sleeping cat at a door, the moving pictures at the wall. He especially didn’t spare any thought to that wonderful, comfortable, safe scent that surrounds this obviously a bachelor’s house. No, he went straight to the fireplace, and nodded to the man.

 

‘I thank you for your hospitality, but I’m afraid I have to go now.’

 

The stare that he got in return wasn’t something that he hadn’t experienced before. ‘Are you sure… I mean, you still seem a little pale…’

 

‘I am absolutely certain.’ He cut him off. When there was still a consistent stare, he sighed. ‘Please.’

 

If he was his normal self he would have scoffed at his own weakness. Two pleases! In one day! Towards the same person no less! But as he was now, he just really wished to go home, and lick his wounds in peace.

 

‘Alright then.’ The man, Marcus walked to the fireplace, grabbed the Floo powder box hidden just under a secret shelve beneath the mantle of the fireplace. As the man handed it to Severus, he leaned forward, not too much into Severus’ personal space to make him take a step back, but enough so that he could whisper into his ears. ‘Once you head back, please find yourself some help, medically or physically, alright? I can… I know what had happened to you, and you are such a nice man that I wouldn’t want you to do…well. Anything rash, alright?’

 

_He was so close Severus could scent him and the scent of home rushed through his nose to his brain and heart and he cannot not now why now of all times_

 

Severus snatched the box just a little violently, and straightened his back, quirking an eyebrow in just the way he knew would piss people off. ‘You would be glad to know that whatever you are thinking is wrong, and that I am not a nice man. I appreciate what you have done for me today. Farewell.’

 

With a growl of his destination’s name, Severus took one last breath of the _simply lovely safe warm home safe protected_ scent, unwittingly committed it to his memories, and moved through the Floo, not even thinking about looking back.

 

 _His mother always said that whatever gender someone is, there would always be the one with_ the scent, _the scent that once you encounter it you would know. The scent of home, safety, and mate. There would only be a handful that would smell like that to someone, so when you meet them, Severus, hold on and never let go._

_Hold on to them, for your mother didn’t even try to look. Your mother though she was in love, and no fate or magic can lead me to someone better than him, but I was so wrong, and you fell victim to my bad decision. So I'm telling you now, when you scent someone like that, don’t let go.’_

But Severus did. Because he knew no one in their right mind would want him. Even more probably was that the man didn’t scent that same scent of home and safety in him, or else he would have given more effort to keep him here. Yet the man didn’t say anything else while he watched him Floo away.

 

_Huh, you stupid bastard. No doubt everything that you have done had made sure that you wouldn’t find a good mate, because you have used those suppressants for so long your scent glands must have been destroyed. Serve you right._

_No one should have to be stuck with you anyway, you useless bastard. Might as well let him go. You’ll just end up killing him anyway._

* * *

When Severus reached the front gates of Hogwarts he had hoped not to be seen or noticed, but it seemed that this horrible day was about to get worse when he heard rushing of footsteps as he pushed the gates open.

 

‘Severus Tobias Snape, where have you been?!’ Minerva McGonagall demanded when she saw the man stumbling in. Her frayed nerves were getting worse when she had realised that he was gone.

 

The wince that Severus had on his face quickly disappeared when he realised how anxious Minerva was. ‘What’s the matter?’ He demanded, striding towards the woman, his wounds and aches be damned.

 

In her anxiety, Minerva McGonagall never noticed the weird scents, the ragged appearance of Severus. ‘Neville Longbottom is missing! And we have been searching for him for a few hours! The only place left now is the Slytherin dungeons, but only you would know every crick and nook in there.’ She gestured to him wildly.

 

In hindsight Severus shouldn’t have snorted, if only to avoid the deadly glare of a scorned lioness.

 

‘Longbottom? Probably sleeping in some places where his beloved plants are! Have you checked the greenhouses? Or better, the mud swamps?’

 

‘Severus Tobias Snape!!’

 

He was physically aching for a bath, and a good 10 hours sleep, but he knew since young that someone like him could never get what he wanted. Severus sighed. ‘Are you sure you have searched for him at other places? It is highly improbable that the weak alpha would go to the dungeons, as scared of the Slytherins as he is.’

 

Perhaps one of the main reason he hated the Gryffindor, other than the fact that he _was_ a Gryffindor, or that he was too clumsy and forgetful, or that he was a coward… One of the main reason was that Neville Longbottom was an alpha, but he acted like he was not one at all. With no courage, no protective instinct that most alphas have, no aggressiveness, Severus would have thought that the boy was an omega if not for that distinctive smell of alpha that somehow never seemed to fit the boy.

 

He was born an alpha, yet he did not use that fact to help himself like how Harry Potter had used his alpha position to become more arrogant. And that, ironically, made Severus hate Longbottom even more than Potter sometime.

 

Looking at the distraught woman’s face in front of him, Severus only sighed when Minerva nodded to his question. ‘We had a few hours searching and it was mind-boggling where he could have gone.’

 

‘Fine. I shall send an elf when I find him.  I do really wonder why wouldn’t someone actually go to the dungeons to look for him instead of waiting for me.’ Severus snarled to himself, and turned away.

 

Once he finds that little idiotic bastard, oh the things that he could do to him.

 

* * *

 

The things that he had imagined as he prowled the dungeons never got to be fulfilled, even though Severus did enjoy the brainstorming session.

 

He was tired, sore, frustrated, angry and depressed at the same time, and he cursed each and every one that he knew under his breath as he went through every nook and cranny that he knew of. The jar of semen was burning in his robes, but he did not have the time to lay them down in his private office.

 

It was quite a while, despite his efforts, when he found the missing boy. He had expected the scent of a distressed boy, the scent of fear, the sniffling and the whimpering.

 

What he did not expect at all was the scent of an omega in heat.

 

Severus didn’t even think; his feet brought him immediately to the place where his keen hearing told him the omega was. At that moment, he did not relate the omega with the missing Gryffindor - all he thought about was the fact that there was an omega in heat, and this was a school with alphas and Betas who were only on minimum suppressants, and the fact that the heat suppressants that he brewed for the presented omegas should be able to prevent any type of heat.

 

And the fact that if Severus didn’t remove this omega from this public premise this scent would only get stronger and stronger until an alpha or even a Beta come to investigate.

 

But when he rounded the corner and strode to the shivering form on the ground, hiding behind an armour knight, the red and gold tie clenched in the figure’s hands gave his identity away.

 

‘Longbottom?’ The low growl made the boy jump, and in an instant the stench of _horror-fear-aroused_ intensified.

 

‘Please don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me…’ Longbottom, if it were possible, actually managed to make himself even smaller. The boy squirmed as he got a whiff of Severus’ artificial alpha scent, and to both of their horror, the boy started to make his way to Severus by crawling, all while whispering pleads.

 

Severus had never seen anything more horrifying in his entire life, and that included the times he had spent in the Dark Lord’s company. Making a split-second decision, he pointed his wand at the boy.

 

‘Do not be frightened, I am only going to stun you for a while,’ Without waiting for a reply, he cast the spell, and the Gryffindor fell to the floor, eyes closed.

 

With quick steps Severus picked the boy up and cast a Scorgify around the area. It wouldn’t be enough to get rid of all the heat scent that the omega had given out, but it was better than nothing. Once he had dealt with the boy in his arms, he’ll fully clean the place. But for now, he had better get the burden in his arms somewhere safe. No spells can keep an omega in heat down for long.

 

Severus didn’t bother wondering about what was going on - why an alpha like Longbottom suddenly went into heat, why did he ran here, how had he managed to hide - these can all come later, once the boy has been dealt with.

 

* * *

 

Neville long since knew that he will be an omega; it was clear to everyone who knew him, to be honest. He was weak, soft-spoken, easily frightened. There was no way he could be an alpha.

 

His grandmother, who raised him since his parents died, took him in. She was strict - which didn’t help Neville’s behaviour and attitude at all - but she was somewhat loving, doting on her only grandson the only way she knew; by nagging and shaping him to someone who could one day take over the Longbottom house. Neville spent his first few years listening meekly to his grandmother, and actually managed to have a good childhood.

 

Until Uncle Bernie came along, that is. Grandmother hated him, said he was a no-good bastard. Neville didn’t know what had happened between him and his grandmother, because he was certain that Uncle Bernie was her son, and mothers don’t usually say that to their son.

 

Grandmother was an omega, and had an arranged marriage with grandfather, who was, of course, an alpha. When grandfather died, the Head of House position shifted to Neville’s father, who was the first son. But the alpha had declined, saying that fighting Voldemort was more important than family matters, and gave the position to grandmother, skipping Uncle Bernie. Uncle Bernie hated that a lot, because he thought that omegas cannot lead a house and only deserve to be a follower.

 

The first thing grandmother did as Head of House was to cast Uncle Bernie away from the Longbottom Manor.

 

The second thing she did was to make sure everyone knew that Neville Longbottom was to be her successor as Head of House, never Uncle Bernie.

 

When Neville was about ten, he finally got to meet this Uncle Bernie. It was the year when Neville would, if he is early, present as either alpha, Beta or omega, and thus all family members have to be there to celebrate his tenth birthday. Grandmother had told him not to go anywhere near him, nor to be alone with him.

 

But there were so much people, Neville was overwhelmed, so he went out to have some fresh air. And all of a sudden, he was alone with Uncle Bernie.

 

It was the worst time of his life.

 

‘Hey boy~~~!’ The drawl, the unmistakable stench of alcohol will forever be burnt into Neville’s memory whenever he thinks about Uncle Bernie. ‘You know who I ammmm? I’m your Unca Bernieee…’

 

Neville was too busy looking around to find someone who could save him, so he didn’t notice the hand reaching out to him until he was grabbed by the shoulder. He squeaked in surprise when he was roughly maneuvered so that he was face-to-face with the older man.

 

‘Listen to me, boy.’ The man growled, his alpha posturing so foreign to Neville that instinct took place - Neville looked to the side, baring his throat. ‘Don’t get into your mind that you’ll be the one leading this house. I know, everyone knows that you’re gonna be an omega, but whatever that old bitch had said, no one will ever accept an omega as the Head of House, you understand? When you present as an omega, even that old bitch won’t be able to help you.’

 

Pulling Neville closer to him, Bernard Longbottom hissed. ‘And when you present as an omega, I’m gonna find a nice alpha to fuck you, and he shall be the Head of House. So we shall both look forward to that, eh?’ With that said, he violently pushed the small boy away and walked away, whistling like he was in a good mood.

 

Neville was shoved to the ground, and there he stayed, shivering in terror as the man left.

 

When the elves finally found him and brought him back to his room, he had gotten a scolding from his grandmother, whom from the alpha scent still lingering on Neville knew that Bernard had cornered her grandson, lectured him about how to avoid alphas _‘like how I’ve taught you since young, Neville. You can’t deal with the alphas yet, boy. Especially a drunk Bernard’._

When Neville was preparing for bed, his grandmother told him. ‘You don’t have to worry about Longbottom house yet, Neville. Grandmother will help you keep it safe. No one other than you is going to be Head, and even if anything happens, Bernard will never be able to even glimpse the title. But he is a sly man, Neville, and will use anything to get any benefits of being a Head of House.

 

‘When you present as an omega,’ And here Neville finally knew, deep in his heart that _everyone_ knew he was going to present as an omega, ‘He’s going to find some weak minded alpha and get you to bond with him. Using that alpha he’s going to take control of the Longbottom house.’

 

The way how grandmother already knew exactly what Uncle Bernie was planning made Neville shiver.

 

‘But it’s alright. As long as I have a soul in my body I will protect you. So you better grow strong, and pray, Neville, pray that your heat comes late, so we don’t have to deal with this too soon.’

 

It should have been just that, and honestly Neville thought that even if he were to have his first heat it would be when he is in Hogwarts already, like maybe when he is twelve.

 

But fate must have had a great laugh, for just weeks later, when his grandmother left for business and the only few people in the Longbottom Manor were Neville and the elves, he had his first heat.

 

It was horrible - the cramps, the uncomfortable slick at his behind, the urge to find something that can fill him…

 

He was only ten, months before the average omega would get their first heat. He was _early,_ which in the eyes of the wizarding world, meant that he had great magic powers, for only those with strong magical core and skills can be able to defend themselves when they had their heat at a young age.

 

But he was just an average magic user; this didn’t make sense at all…

 

The ten-year-old winced and hugged himself tighter as another wave of pain hit him in the abdomen. _And they said that the first heat is always milder. If this is milder wouldn’t I be dead if I have my normal heat?_

Horror bloomed in his mind when he thought of that. _Normal heat… I’m an omega, I really am an omega…. I cannot afford to be an omega! Omega means that Uncle Bernie is going to marry me to some alpha, and he’s going to get the Longbottom House, and the first thing he’s gonna do is to cast grandmother out!_

_I cannot be an omega! I CANNOT!_

_I can’t always depend on grandmother… She’s old already and I must stand up for myself. But everyone knows omegas can’t stand for themselves…_

Which was when he had a brilliant plan ever - he just doesn’t let other people know that he’s an omega! He just needed to hide his scent and pretend that he still hadn’t presented until…. until it cannot be delayed anymore, then he’ll find another plan. For now, he knew just the thing.

 

‘Maxxy!’ He called for his house elf, his heat temporarily forgotten. Elves don’t have a secondary gender; their genders were either male or female. Sometimes Neville envied them, but for now this was a good thing because he didn’t have to fear his house elves being affected by all those hormones that he was producing for his heat.

 

‘Yes Master Neville sir! Why is you calling Maxxy?’  The creature appeared in Neville’s room and suddenly frowned, as much as the already wrinkly face can frown. ‘Why is Master Neville smelling weird?’

 

‘Maxxy, clean this place and get rid of the smell please.’ He sat up while the elf did what he was told. ‘Maxxy, do you know any suppressants here?’

 

The small elf twitched his big ears. ‘You mean the one that Lady Mistress always take?’

 

‘Well, yeah. But if you take it she would know…’

 

‘Maxxy can get extra from Tinky when she came with the usual batch?’ Maxxy suggested, wrangling his hands. He had been Neville’s personal elf since he was a young toddler, and he knew that Neville will never ask him to punish himself, nor will he punish Maxxy if he did anything wrong, unlike what he had always heard from other elves with bad owners. So he did want to help his master as much as he could.

 

‘Can you really? Without any money?’

 

‘Tinky and Maxxy is good friend - Tinky says this happen all the time. Some elves’ masters ask to get potion with no money and Tinky’s master let her give to them.’

 

 Neville widen his eyes in surprise - that was better than he had thought! He had initially wanted to ask Maxxy to buy them, but he knew that he won’t have any money for it. Apparently the place where his grandmother bought her suppressants (and wasn’t that weird, thinking about the fact that his grandmother would have had at least gone through one heat in her life) actually help other omegas get their suppressants without needing to involve anyone else.

 

But his was a different case… He didn’t need heat suppressant - he knew that that would only make the heats better He needed something that will completely get rid of his omega status - heats and scents.

 

‘Stay there Maxxy, I’m going to write a letter, and you are going to give it to your Tinky.’

 

That was how Neville get his suppressants and lived like an unpresented child - until his second year in Hogwarts. No one noticed - he was being careful. And he didn’t know this, but his magic was also protecting him - keeping him unnoticed when he didn’t want to be, keeping him relatively healthy when the boy hadn’t had a heat for years (omegas must allow their body to go through heat without suppressants at least once a year).

 

But the price for this was his weak control of his magic, and his weak magic overall. So much of his energy, his magic was being directed to his health, to prevent his heat that there wasn’t much left for him to use in classes. But that was a price he was willing to pay for his safety.

 

Then he met someone in Hufflepuff who sold artificial scents in an underground secret trade when he was fourteen - an age far too old for anyone to not have presented. He was being pressured by weird looks from his peers, and worried looks from his professors. So when he found Susannah Montage, the Muggle-born who sells all these artificial scents from the Muggle world and was told that the only scents left in her storage was an alpha’s, he had no choice.

 

So he had to become an alpha.

 

It was, since that first and last heat, six years since he had had gone through a full heat. But he cannot risk it. Not in Hogwarts. And not at home, where Bernard will randomly show up, just to rile him and his grandmother up.

 

His body had been protesting this treatment for quite a while by making Neville’s magic go wonky, as well as taking up much of his energy and concentration, making him be even more clumsy and make more mistakes. And when he was exposed to the anti-suppressant in the potion class this morning, that was when his body said enough and decided that he had to have his heat, right now, just when he was in the Gryffindor’s common room.

 

When the body betrayed its owner, it moved fast. Neville didn’t know what had even happened when he suddenly felt so warm and his private parts were tingling. It was only when he felt the tell-tale slick dripping down his inner thigh that he started panicking. The only thing in his mind now was to _run run run run don’t let anyone know where what who you are…_

He didn’t know where he was going - and when he couldn’t run anymore he hid behind an armour, but knew that it was only time before he was found.

 

Then his worst nightmare arrived - Professor Snape. He was everything that Neville was afraid of in an alpha - cruel, angry, strict, scary…

 

Or perhaps, Neville was afraid of Professor Snape because among everyone in Hogwarts, he was the most dominant and scary alpha. Most alphas here were just students and didn’t have much alpha presence (except a selected few), and most staff were betas. Professor McGonagall wasn’t as much cruel as she was strict, and Professor Flitwick was, no offence, part goblin, and though they have secondary genders as well, theirs weren’t as distinct as humans.

 

Oh but when he gotten a whiff of an alpha scent that was it - he had lost control of his body. That was when he was Stunned, and then he knew no more.

 

* * *

 

When Neville woke up he was in a room - unsurprising - and alone - surprising. He thought that he was just in a bad dream, but the achy needy feeling in his body told him otherwise.

 

But if he really was in heat, and he had met Professor Snape, who was an alpha… Won’t the alpha be here now, fucking him though his heat?

 

Neville looked around - he was on a bed, and in a room where there was no windows and only one door (to the bathroom), only a bed, a table and a chair, a chest, and … There was a note on the chest.

 

With some difficulties, Neville managed to push the needy omega in him to the back of his mind, and moved to the chest. The note read:

 

‘Longbottom,

 

In this chest is a collection of omega heat toys. I trust you at least know what to do with them.

 

This room, as you can no doubt see, is very much secure. The only way to enter and leave is by house elves’ help. Simply call out for Tacter, and he shall provide you with whatever you need. House elves are not affected by any heat scents, if you do not know.

 

Tacter is not under my command, he is a part of Hogwarts protection for omegas, and thus will not allow anyone to enter this room when you are still in heat without previous permission. Once you are done, call for him. If the time is right he will bring you to my office. We need to talk.

 

Rest assured that your secret will be safe with me.

 

Professor Snape’

 

As the note said, the chest was filled with dildos of different sizes, lubes, and all sorts of things Neville had never seen before, let alone know their purpose. He was a bit horrified, imagining the sombre alpha seeing these types of things, and decided to push that off his mind for now.

 

Professor Snape said he wouldn’t say anything about him being an omega, and though cruel and evil Snape may be, Neville knew that the man keeps his words (because every threat he made was followed through). So now the only thing he had to worry about was his heat.

 

Biting his lips, he blindly grabbed one of the smaller sized dildos, and moved to the bed.

 

This was his first heat he had ever experienced, and Neville pray to Merlin that it wasn’t as bad as the other omegas say.

 

* * *

 

Harry Potter was on a mission.

 

In fact, he was the one that had informed Professor McGonagall about Nevile’s disappearance, and when after a few hours the brunette was still yet to be found, Harry decided that he had to find his friend.

 

He and Neville will never be best friends like how he and Ron was, but he had appreciated Neville’s help when he went to get rid of Voldemort. The fellow alpha was brave and worthy of Gryffindor’s sword as he sliced Nagini’s head off. So Harry took his Maurauder’s Map (he had knocked himself on the head when Hermione reminded him that he even had that thing - he totally forgot about it!), bid the rest of the Gryffindors farewell, and went in search of Neville.

 

Imagine his horror and anger when he saw that Neville’s name in the map was in the dungeons! And that the name _Severus Snape_ was closing in on the alpha.

 

Stuffing the map into his robes, Harry rushed to where he figured Neville was. Neville was always afraid of the dour and sometimes downright cruel alpha, and Harry worried that whatever had made Neville leave the dorms would be worsen when he encounters Snape.

 

As he ran along the corridors and dashed down the stairs, he mused about the alpha that was acting a bit weird after the potion class.

 

They all knew that it was Neville who spilt _something_ into Harry’s cauldron, making the explosion, but none of them blamed him when Harry told them that he saw Draco Malfoy deliberately stretching his leg out to trip him.

 

But later, as they were confined in a room and had ingested emergency Alpha suppressants, he saw Neville keeping to himself at the corner of the room, not doing anything at all, just staring into space. When Harry got closer to him, he could see that the boy was sweating a little, and was obviously not comfortable. But when he asked Neville about it, he only received vague answers, and desperate misdirection that Harry took pity of the boy, and left him alone.

 

He still kept an eye on him, and thus he was the one who told his friends, and then informed Professor McGonagall about Neville’s disappearance.

 

The reason why he was looking at Neville, not just today, but for quite a long time now… The reason why he cared for the soft-spoken alpha…

 

There was one day, when they were in third year. Harry was, for some reason, very worried, when he found out that Sirius Black (now his godfather, but he didn’t know that back then), a notorious criminal was after him, and had almost succeeded, and he broke down in his dorm room. His soft sobs and cries were the thing that had attracted the other alpha to approach him and offer him comfort. When Harry accepted Neville’s hug, he felt safe, and that nothing will be wrong, for he was at home… the sweet scent of Neville’s helped him to sleep, and he was positive that Neville could smell something nice from him too.

 

That day was the only day he had ever managed to go close to Neville enough to scent his personal scent - a phrase that he leant from Hermione, when he asked her about it later. He had told her about the weirdly sweet smell he had scented from someone else, and before he could say that it was from Neville, the alpha girl had excitedly told him that he had found his mate and proceeded on whatever she knew about personal scents and mates and feeling like home and…

 

Harry’s face fell then, and the observant girl caught sight of it.

 

_‘What’s wrong, Harry? Finding a mate is a good thing! There’s only a handful of people with the suitable personal scent for you.’_

_‘It’s Neville. Nev… Neville’s personal scent… I… Can alphas mate with an alpha…?’_

_‘Oh Harry…’_

That led to a comforting hug and the end of the conversation. Alphas and alphas can’t get together, can’t mate… Not because of any stupid laws or people’s judgement, it’s just that Nature doesn’t allow that. No alphas have ever had suitable personal scents to attract the attention of another alpha, that just never happen.

 

Hermione later comforted him with that fact that there are still possibilities that there would be others in his future that will have the suitable personal scent for him, but…

 

But for Harry, Neville was it. The one.

 

And not only that, because ever since then Neville had tried his best to avoid getting into Harry’s personal space. Sure, they were still friends, but he actively avoids sitting beside Harry, and Harry knew why, so he let him.

 

However, this was Snape we were talking about. Snape abhorred Neville, and would (in Harry’s mind) do anything to make sure Neville knows that. Harry can’t let Neville be hurt, even if they can never be together he still liked Neville enough to wish him no harm.

 

So he gritted his teeth, and determinedly ran towards the dungeons, because even if the war against Voldemort had made him understand Severus Snape just a little more - enough to know that he actually does have good intentions in heart, he just have a hard time conveying it - it wasn’t enough to convince him that Snape will leave Neville alone.

 

When he stumbled upon the professor casting spells at a corner and the strong scent of omega heat (he had never encounter that scent before, but it was engraved in every alpha’s instinct to identify that scent) he didn’t know what to think. Neville wasn’t here anymore, while the other alpha was casting spells to get rid of the scent - he could smell that the scent was getting lesser and lesser, but there will always be a tint of scent left behind, that was just how powerful the omega heat scent could cling.

 

Then his mind started turning, all while the professor was busy concentrating to get rid of evidence. _Neville was not feeling well. It was after the potion class, where Snape said that they have created the strongest anti-suppressants. Anti-suppressants… The sudden scent of an omega in heat, which should be impossible because omegas are given suppressants just like the rest of the genders, and that would suppress their heat into bouts of aroused and horny periods. Anti-suppressants…_

_Neville is an alpha… but he didn’t… he never seemed like an alpha… Could it be that he is an omega?!_

_Then if he is in heat, and Snape, an alpha found him… And Neville is now not in sight…_

Harry gasped in anger as he realised what his mind was trying to tell him. And the gasp was what exposed his presence to the other alpha.

 

* * *

 

Severus sighed at what was like the thousands of time today, and it was not even morning. After he had stunned the boy, he had asked for Tacter. He was very familiar with how the Hogwarts protection for omegas worked - he was one of the founders, along with Pomona Sprout and Poppy Pomfrey.

 

The protection was for omegas who had sudden heat attacks - when they forgot to have the suppressants, or potion accidents like what had happened yesterday. In fact, the four omegas that were involved with the accident yesterday was sent to rooms similar to what Neville Longbottom will be sent to - a room which will not allow any scent to go across, which meant no windows, no doors, a place for them to spend their heat in peace.

 

If an omega is in heat, the house elves will immediately notify Tacter, who was the main elf, and one of the only few allowed entry into these rooms. He will then have the omega in heat in these rooms, and will not let them out until the heat has passed.

 

After sending Tacter to have the boy sent to the room nearest to his office, he sent about cleaning the space where Neville Longbottom had deemed suitable to hide. The omega heat scent will cling very strongly to the walls, floors, and even his person, and needed multiple Scorgifys to get rid of them.

 

He would never tell, but the scent was making him uncomfortable. Sometimes an omega in heat can trigger other omegas to go to heat too, and he was just a tad afraid that that will happen to him, but logically it would be impossible as he already had his own suppressants.

 

The small gasp quickly dispelled these worries, because Severus knew there will be more if he didn’t deal with this immediately. Someone seeing an alpha cleaning up omega heat scents was bounded to raise questions, especially since no omega was supposed to go into heat in a school.

 

The sight of Harry Potter only made him sigh - of course the bloody boy-who-lived-to-make-my-life-worse was to be the one who saw him. Keeping his wand in his hand - who knows what the headstrong alpha would do - he turned to the boy and demanded in his strictest voice.

 

‘Potter, what are you doing out of your dorm after curfew?’

 

The boy, to his annoyance, countered that with another question. ‘What did you do to Neville, you bastard?!’

 

‘Thirty points from Gryffindor, both for your language and for your tone. Now get loss.’

 

The bloody boy-who-lived only stepped closer, and Severus hated to admit this, but he almost took a step backwards when he could smell that awful alpha scent _that reminded him of what had happened._

 

Almost was the keyword - he can’t show weakness now or he will be admitting to whatever Potter thought he had done.

 

‘No! I can smell…. I can smell it, and if you are trying to clean it up…’The green eyes glared through the glasses, the spike of the alpha scent obvious to the both of them. Potter was affected by the omega heat scent, that Severus could tell. He himself wasn’t feeling very well either, but that could be because of…other reasons.

 

‘You’re the one who took Neville away! You must have known that he… and then wanted him for yourself! What, couldn’t find someone to breed? To rape?!’

 

A growled Silencio only made the boy stop making sound, but didn’t make him stop glaring. Severus sneered at the pathetic attempt to get him to talk.

 

What was the Longbottom boy to Potter anyway? He had never seen them close, and most of the conversations were between the Granger girl and Longbottom, at least at the places where he could see them. This did not explain why was the boy doing here, where he should have been in the Gryffindor’s dorm, twiddling his fingers. But perhaps it was…what did Granger said? Potter’s saving people thing.

 

Well, his saving people thing will do nothing but ruin Severus’ career, as well as giving away Neville Longbottom’s secret, which he will not allow. Not without the omega’s active consent.

 

Leaning down towards the boy, whom was still in the Silencio charm, he grabbed his collar at his neck and pulled him closer.

 

‘I do not, as you think, take anyone without their explicit consent, unlike certain alphas I know. If I were to do so don’t you think I would be taking advantage of Longbottom now, instead of doing this hideous job of getting rid of his scent? Think, boy!’

 

The frown that Potter now had on him was more contemplative than anger - perhaps he had managed to get something into that brain of his. He released the boy, and pushed him a step away, then released him from the Silencing spell.

 

‘Does that… Does that mean that you won’t…use him?’

 

Flinching in disgust, Severus snapped. ‘I will never touch someone like that without consent. Not to mention that Longbottom is still underage, and clearly unable to consent to anything.’ Even the thought of it made him have the urge to puke, and only seemed to remind him of… He shuddered in disgust - it was no matter, what’s done is done. He also had the perfect means for revenge, in his robes. Now only to get rid of this bloody idiot, clean this place up, and he could finally do what he wanted to do - seek revenge.

 

As if able to clearly see his contempt at the thought, Potter _finally_ nodded and accepted. But he knew that this was just a temporary win - the brat will now keep an eye on him _making him very uncomfortable_ and make sure he did what he said he would do (or in this case, not do what he said he won’t do).

                                                     

Just before the boy turned away and leave, Severus realised something had to be done first - a story for Longbottom’s disappearance. Now that it involved more than him and Neville, they would need a story, and the same one before different versions of it go to the public.

 

‘Potter.’

 

He turned around.

 

‘Anyone, and I meant anyone at all, asked about Longbottom, he is at a quarantine room at the dungeons because I found him there, and he’s sick with something easily spread to others. He won’t return to classes until I say so. Anything else asked, direct them to me. I trust you can at least do that without messing up, Potter, not if you want everyone know what Longbottom is.’

 

Without making sure the boy leave, Severus turned back to the corridor and continued with his cleaning. The footsteps decreasing in volume told him that the boy had left.

 

Hopefully the boy knew of the consequences of a leaked secret. After all, his whole life was led by one.

 

* * *

 

Severus moved back to his rooms with mild haste - from a Tempus spell, he knew that there was only three hours plus before classes start. And he still hadn’t cleaned up, haven’t deal with the jar of semen in his robes. He also had to tell the Hogwarts staff, especially Minerva McGonagall, the worry-wart old tabby about Longbottom and his (fake) sickness, as well as Poppy about Longbottom’s heat. He hadn’t prepared the classes’ needed potion ingredients (some are too dangerous to allow certain imbeciles to prepare).

 

And what he really wanted was a long bath to clean himself up. Even though he had missed a night’s sleep, but the time he spent passed out would suffice as rest. It had to.

 

All of this before the usual time he’d appear for breakfast, which will be two hours later.

 

Locking his doors, he made his way to his private potion lab. He placed the jar onto the table, and spent a few moments musing and listing the things he needed to do by priority.

 

The most important thing now wasn’t to get Malfoy, Nott and the two Lestrange - the semen could last for one till two days. He would have time to make the potions tonight, after class.

 

No, the most important thing now was to be normal, and not deviate from any of the routine he had set himself. So, notes to Minerva and Poppy. Then, shower, potion ingredients, then to breakfast.  Later, classes, then only potion for revenge.

 

Nodding to himself, he placed the jar into a box, locking it with his magic signature - no one would be able to open it except him. This can wait until he was done with class.

 

Two simple notes telling that he has Longbottom in his care, and will give them details during breakfast were sent to the two witches. Then he walked determinedly towards his bathroom - he cannot wait to scrub at least a layer of skin away from his body, the layer of skin that was touched.

 

* * *

 

After a hot shower, an hour plus of ingredients preparing, Severus made his way up to the Great Hall for breakfast. He was early - as usual. Minerva and Poppy were early as well - unusual. They were here because of Longbottom, no doubt.

 

‘Severus!’ The head of Gryffindor called out to him when he arrived at the table. He answered her silent request of sitting next to her - he usually sit beside the Headmaster, but it seemed that Albus was late today.

 

‘Is Mister Longbottom alright? You said you found him?’ Minerva rushed to ask him the question. Severus knew that the question was on the Alpha’s mind the moment she knew the boy was with him. At his other side, Poppy urged her seat closer to him, eager to hear about the news.

 

‘Yes, I found him in the dungeons, with a Dragon fever.’

 

The two women gasped - a Dragon fever is dangerous because not only it can’t be cured with mere potions, it is also highly contagious. The fever will only go away with time, and in the meantime the patient couldn’t even be taken care of by anyone else the caretaker will be ill with Dragon fever too. But this sickness is rare.

 

‘But how… There weren’t any recent outbreaks of Dragon fever…’ Poppy fretted, worrying about the students that may have come into contact with Mister Longbottom before his quarantine.

 

Severus only shrugged. ‘Who knew where the boy had been before last night? But I do wonder if the potion accident yesterday had anything to do with it. Which reminds me, Poppy. I would have to schedule a meeting with you later, to look at what the anti-suppressant had done.’

 

‘Of course, Severus.’

 

‘So you will have Mister Longbottom in quarantine with you for as long as he is ill?’ Minerva asked, grabbing Severus’ attention. ‘Will you remember to feed him? Will he be alright?’

 

Severus rolled his eyes at how Minerva was acting. ‘No, I was going to let him starve. Seriously, Minerva.’

 

Minerva only huffed, indignant. ‘Well, excuse me if I don’t trust your abilities as a caretaker with the animosity between you two…’

 

‘I will never mistreat someone in need.’ Severus snapped, short-tempered and in no mood to banter with the Alpha. Finishing his relatively little food, he stood up. ‘I shall be at the potion classroom, if anyone needs me. Poppy, have an elf tell me when you are free for the talk. Minerva.’ He nodded to the two women in greeting, greeted the rest of the staff who had only just came in and was a little surprised to see him leave.

 

‘Oh Severus…’ Minerva’s stutter didn’t make him turn around. He wasn’t afraid of hurting the older Alpha’s feelings - the both of them had so much fights and shouting matches in the past that this slight quarrel wasn’t enough to harm their relationship. After going through her guilt and decided on anger or frustration, Severus would go to her and release the tension between them with a good bickering match, and the two of them would be good as new.

 

For now, Severus’ mind was far from the inevitable argument - he was busy thinking about the potions that he would have to brew to catch Malfoy and the others. If he was discreet about it, he should be able to prepare the base while supervising his classes.

 

He _really_ wanted them to be caught and put to Azkaban, or even better, kissed by a Dementor or killed by any other means.

 

* * *

 

Severus made his way to the Hospital Wings when the first few of his classes finished. He received a note saying that the MediWitch would be free at any time after ten, so at eleven Severus had started his way.

 

The witch was in her office reading a book, but had put it down when Severus knocked and entered the room. Without any other word, Severus had warded the room with anti-eavesdropping spells and locking spells.

 

Poppy frowned, standing at the side while watching him. She wanted to scold him for treating her infirmary like his own space, but she knew how Severus was. Whatever he did, there will always be a reason.

 

It was only when he was clearly done that Poppy decided to start. ‘Well, I guess you aren’t really here for the anti-suppressants accident, are you?’ She said wryly.

 

Severus inclined his head as a nod. ‘It’s about Longbottom.’ He said as he moved to one of the seats opposite of where she was sitting. He could see that he had surprised the Beta witch.

 

‘Longbottom? I thought you said he had the Dragon fever? Are his symptoms worse?’

 

He shook his head. ‘No, he… He didn’t have the fever at all. Poppy, he is one of the Delta cases.’ The wide-eyed look Poppy gave him was priceless.

 

When they had established the Omega protection, both of them clearly knew that there will be cases whereby they could not ask for outside help. Those that had to remain a secret were given some code for them to be able to mention it in public’s ears just in case there was a need. In this case, a Delta meant that an Omega who was hiding as another gender had just went to heat unexpectedly.

 

‘Oh dear, Mister Longbottom…? I would have said I should have known, but we didn’t give him much attention…’ Poppy had her hand on her lips, musing about the boy, and fitting in the new-found fact into the boy’s profile. ‘We were all surprised when he presented as an Alpha, but then again, we only have his word for it…’

 

Severus told her that he had sent him to the nearest safe room to the dungeons, and that he will make sure to talk to the boy once his heat had past. Poppy nodded, confident in his ability to handle this - after all Severus had handled quite a number of cases like this before.

 

‘Perhaps it was the potion accident that had led to young Longbottom to go into heat?’ Poppy mused, and Severus agreed with her. What other reason than that? For if Longbottom had hidden himself for so long without anyone noticing anything about him, then he would have been able to hide until his graduation. The anti-suppressants they had made must have been so strong, for it had also almost send Severus to heat…

 

‘Severus… you are unaffected by Longbottom, I hope? An alpha like you…’

 

Severus glared, offended at the implications. Even if he was really born an Alpha, he would never! ‘I, unlike Mister Longbottom, knew to have another dose of suppressants after the incident!’

 

Poppy raised her hands in mock surrender - she knew the man’s temper. But she had to know, had to ask. ‘Of course, of course…’ She herself was a Beta, and as Betas had neither heats or ruts, these sorts of situations won’t be harmful to a Beta.

 

But Severus was an Alpha. And even though the magical world had come a long way since Alphas were treated as royalties, as well as treating them as barely more than animals, there were still legit reasons why they were treated so.

 

However, she also knew about Severus’ morals. If he said nothing had happened, then nothing had happened. And if something had _really_ happened, she wouldn’t be the first to know, Albus Dumbledore would be. The man may be just a tad too much when dealing with the students, but she knew that she could fully entrust the student’s safety with him.

 

After all, she of all people had the first hand of seeing how Severus reacted in front of an Omega in heat, even if it was years ago. Or rather, how he had not reacted the way an Alpha usually acted. In a way, it was kind of amazing that the man just grabbed a small vial of potion in his cloak and gulped it in a second, claiming that it was something to make sure he wasn’t affected by the Omega’s hormones. Then he had sent the Omega girl to her hospital wing (there wasn’t any Omega protection plans yet at that time), and refrained from going to the hospital wing until he was sure the girl was fully recovered to her usual self.

 

Amazing, Severus Snape was. Not many people knew it, but Poppy was glad she was one of the few who knew.

 

* * *

 

When Severus went back to his private potion lab, he was in a way quite looking forward to it. He was going to get his revenge, and if his plan goes well, he’ll be ridding the Wizarding World of their main four criminals on the run.

 

His plan was to use the sperms that he had collected to make a Tracking Potion. By dipping a mirror into the potion and cast a simple Joining spell, the mirror would then show where the targeted person is for half an hour before reverting to a normal mirror.

 

But he was Severus Snape, and half an hour is enough time for him to be able to know where they would be hiding. That, and even if there wasn’t enough time, the potion could be used again at least for three times.

 

A wand can also be used when the target is close enough for detection, but that required a lot more magic than the mirror, so Severus would only use that as a last resort.

 

Once he finds their location, he would be able to get revenge for both himself and the other victims that they had from long before, as well as the anger towards Voldemort that he was not able to release since Potter was to be the one to vanquish him. But with the four he would be able to do so.

 

Revenge, releasing pent-up anger; by hunting them down he’ll be hitting two birds with one stone.

 

Severus didn’t even think about the scenario of what if he didn’t manage to do what he wanted to do. Because he was Severus Snape, Potion Master, the Dark Lord’s right-hand man, Dumbledore’s spy. He might not be the best teacher, might not be a good man, but he had always been a great duellist, and was inferior to none when it came to erasing his traces.

 

Malfoy, Nott and the Lestranges will never see him coming.

 

* * *

 

The morning newspapers came while Severus was enjoying his coffee. The calm that he felt was clearly not reflected towards the rest of the occupants of Hogwarts as whispers and hisses spread across the room.

 

The ones without a newspaper quickly got the news from those who had. And those that had already read it turned their attention to Draco Malfoy, who was clutching a set of newspaper of his own.

 

Severus would have felt pity (but not regret, never) for the boy had they not had a talk a few months ago as a godfather and a child. Draco had told him about his parents, that his mother had decided to go to Andromeda Tonks, not wanting to live at the Malfoy Manor anymore. Draco himself was not the head of the house yet, but that’s because Lucius refused to renown it. He hated the fact that a man carrying Malfoy’s name was out and about, causing so much trouble. Even if he was his father.

 

He hated the fact that everything he’d known about Malfoy name, his own legacy, history was so different from what was the truth. Draco was only a small, impressionable boy who had believed in whatever Malfoy the elder said because he had idolized his father, but no more.

 

The words that the young Malfoy said to him was sworn to secrecy, only to be repeated in his mind, and nowhere else. It wasn’t sworn by magic or anything, but both of them knew about Severus’s morals. He never breaks a promise, not if he could help it.

 

Draco said that if there’s a chance for anyone to get rid of his father, either by killing him or bringing him to Azkaban (and him staying there for real this time), then he would be glad, because the world is ridding itself of a very dangerous man, who will do whatever he can to see other people shiver in fear. He would be sad, a little, because after all, the man who had raised him will be dead, but Severus told him that perhaps the man who had raised him was already long gone, back when Voldemort raised from the dead, and Draco agreed.

 

So as the rest of the school watched the young blonde, Severus did too, but not as obvious as the rest of them.

 

The news headline said, ‘Lucius Malfoy and other remaining Death Eaters found dead, tied up in the main hall of Department of Magic this morning’.

 

Severus was proud to say that he did a good job.

 

* * *

 

The news was still spreading even after a week, and the students were clearly unable to concentrate on their studies. All of them were speculating about the one who was behind the deaths of the criminals, and the reason why.

 

At first, they were looking towards Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, because it was pure logic. The teen did spend his years in Hogwarts fighting the Death Eaters, and it wasn’t a great leap of logic to figure that Harry Potter wanted to completely get rid of the Death Eaters. Also, it appealed to the public’s view of the Hero of the Wizarding World.

 

All of that was proven false when Potter himself stood up during breakfast and announced that he was not involved in this at all, and his gang of friends supported him. And while most people would just think that this is an attempt to be humble or shaking off any responsibility, some actually believed him and went on to look for other suspects.

 

But whatever conclusion that came out will be none of Severus’ problem. Sure he was suspected, but it wasn’t long before the idea dissolved away due to the fact someone brought up about his relationship with Lucius Malfoy. They were, after all, close since Malfoy was Severus’ senior.

 

Even if Severus Snape ended up deflecting from the dark, that didn’t mean that Severus would actually kill his friend; well, that’s what they say. Such innocence.

 

Severus had never treated Lucius Malfoy as a friend even since they met. Although he did have a close relationship with the Malfoys it was actually more towards Narcissa, and later the younger Malfoy. And when Severus finally realised that it was his association with Lucius Malfoy that had led him to work with Voldemort, his remaining respect was gone. The only reason he still made an appearance as if he and Malfoy was close was that the blonde man was Voldemort’s right-hand man, and he couldn’t afford to make an enemy out of him.

 

Truthfully, he was glad the man’s gone. Not only was the world a much better place, Draco finally had some peace of mind, and he was now officially the head of Malfoy’s house. That meant he could finally do something about the Malfoy’s reputation, which had sunk even worse after Voldemort’s death, due to his father’s decision to become the wizarding world’s most dangerous criminal. Severus himself will have some peace of mind, too.

 

And those people had seemed to have forgotten that he was involved in the previous war not as some advisor or spy, but an actual fighter. He had killed before, people who were on either side of the war. He killed for Voldemort, and he killed for Dumbledore. And here those people had said that he wouldn’t kill anyone that he was familiar with. Did they not know that he had even killed his colleague before? Charity Burbage, the Muggle Studies Professor.

 

But whatever, this doesn’t involve him anymore. He had other things to do, like dealing with Longbottom, for one thing.

 

* * *

 

A few days later, almost a week since Severus sent Neville Longbottom into the safe room, Tacter the house elf came to him and told him that the Omega had finished his heat cycle and, after a bath, would be willing to talk to Professor Snape.

 

It was after classes had ended, and he was in his private rooms, using the free time to enjoy a book. Hearing what the elf had told him, he closed his book, and told the elf to bring the boy to his office when he was done. The elf nodded and popped away.

 

Changing his robes to something more suitable for guest, Severus made his way to his office. It wasn’t long when there is a soft pop, announcing the boy’s arrival.

 

The boy was nervous, as usual when he saw him. He was clean, and had a normal Beta scent on him. Severus nodded in approval - no matter what he had always thought about the boy, the mere fact that his gender was not found out yet proved that he still had his wit with him.

There cannot ever be a chance for someone to know of your secret, or else you will be dead.

 

It was just very fortunate of Mr. Longbottom that it was he who found out, and not anyone else.

 

But perhaps it would have been better for someone else to find him that time, for no problems can be fixed by hiding and running away, Severus had learnt that from his own experience. Say him a hypocrite, but when anyone starts to keep a secret, and had kept it for so long, it is very hard to reveal it on your own. Someone else would have helped Longbottom in fixing his life, changing it back to an Omega’s life, and help him with the main reason why he hid in the first place.

 

But not Severus. He wasn’t that kind of person. He himself after all, had hid for decades. In these situation, he won’t be a hypocrite and tell them to reveal themselves when he himself had hid for almost thirty years.

 

‘Sit down, Longbottom, before your knees buckle. Then you shall tell me everything from the beginning, starting from why on earth you have decided to act as an Alpha rather than your true gender.’

 

* * *

 

It was, in fact, so close to home that Severus only managed to keep the perpetual scowl on his face, as he listened to Longbottom. The boy, (or was he a man now?), had started slow, stuttering here and there. But once he realised that Severus really was there to listen, and not to scold or insult, his voice got stronger, and the story faster.

 

The situation with his uncle (Bernard Longbottom, Severus marked this name down. He didn’t know what he will do, but he will do something, no matter what. No one should be able to threaten an Omega like that, like how his own father had done), his first early heat (which was a total surprise), how he had gotten his suppressants, and later his fake alpha hormones. And how it was perhaps because of the potion mishap that day that he had his heat so suddenly.

 

He had nodded when Longbottom finally finished. He watched as the man before him bowed down his head, truly believing that he had done a wrong, when all Severus wanted to do was to praise him for his bravery and perseverance.

 

He did neither. Instead, he had done what he had always done when such cases come up.

 

‘Do you still have your heat suppressants, and the artificial Alpha scent?’ He asked, and received nods in reply. A quick call to the house elves brought some flasks to Severus.

 

While sniffing the potions to determine their quality, Severus had asked Longbottom of his sources of these potions. He already had a long list of students that assist in these cases, and sell suppressants and artificial scents to other students like this. Some of their potions are acceptable, and thus do not need any of his interference. But sometimes the potions that they sell are harmful in the long run, and Severus wouldn’t even wish those side-effects to his worst enemies.

 

The one that Longbottom had was of average quality, and it was from someone whom he knew was selling them quite a while ago. A Hufflepuff, already graduated. But from his sources, she was still selling these artificial scents and suppressants to those who would owl her.

 

Her potions were of a good quality, but Longbottom here was a special case. The Omega had had no heats for six years, and his magic will build up tolerance towards any suppressants. It was a wonder the boy hadn’t succumbed to any heats yet, and that was just another prove that Longbottom had magic that can rival Potter or the Dark Lord.

 

Imagine that, an Omega going against the greatest enemy of the Wizarding World. Severus would have pissed himself laughing, just imagining Neville Longbottom winning against Voldemort.

 

‘You do know that an Omega should not miss four heats in a row?’ He drawled.

 

‘Yes professor, but I couldn’t risk it… Not with my…uncle near the Longbottom Manor…’ The boy squirmed under his gaze, even though all Severus could think of at that moment was just how…suitable this boy was in Gryffindor. Even when faced with things such as the loss of his magic, disability, loss of brain function in serious cases, he would still continue on with suppressing his heats. Just… Gryffindors.

 

No matter, Severus had something up his sleeves for situations just like these.

 

He gave the boy some Omega suppressants, and tell him to drink up. The suppressants were of his own recipe, and would be effective for at least two decades, even with magic tolerance. Then he gave the boy a note about his conditions to give to Poppy, explaining about what the boy had said to him so she didn’t have to make him repeat if he didn’t want to.

 

‘When you have time, go to Madam Pomfrey. She will give you a health check, because you definitely haven’t had the omega health check for a long time. Alpha’s healthcare is obviously far different than an omega. Then she will give you a few options.

 

‘Either you keep on with your farce, hiding as an alpha, for with the suppressants that I will give you, your body can handle your heats for at least two decades provided you go through a yearly heat; or you can go to the omega protective service and deal with your uncle. With the latter option you are required to go through therapy, for it is very unhealthy, both for your physical and mental health to hide your gender for so long. The protective service will not let you go without at least a year of therapy, and that is if you prove to them that you are fine.’

 

When Longbottom fidgeted, Severus sighed inwardly and continued. ‘I won’t give you any advice; that is not my part. If you want advices take that to Madam Pomfrey. For my part I would only send your needed potions via house elves. Suppressants, artificial scents, birth-controls, those are my job.’

 

He stood up. ‘Now, if there is nothing else. Please go on back to your dorms and assure your fellow dormmates that I haven’t killed you, or harm you. I do not expect any more meetings like this between us, in fact I actively discourage it. Tell Madam Pomfrey whatever you need, and the both of us will help you. Now, out.’

 

The boy scrambled out of the couch, and hesitated.

 

Severus rolled his eyes. ‘What, Longbottom?’

 

‘Thank you!’ The words seemed to just blurt out of his mouth, and both of them were surprised. But the boy soldiered on. ‘For… taking care of me! And for not… touching me or, you know…’

 

‘For the love of Merlin stop while you are ahead Longbottom. I need not your appreciation, I just need to know that whatever happened, will not happen again.’

 

‘Yes sir!’ And with that, the troublemaker was finally gone.

 

Severus collapsed into his seat, with his arm over his forehead. Finally, things can go back to normal. Normal is good. Normal is just what he needed.

 

* * *

 

After all the times that he had thought about anything positive, he should have learnt his lessons. Anything he thought that trouble was over, it was just another sign that trouble was just starting.

 

Over the weeks he had kept his eye on Longbottom subtly. The boy seemed to be no different, but his magic seemed to be much stronger, probably due to the new suppressants he was taking.

 

From what he had heard from Poppy, Neville had shared with her the conversation he had with his previous suppressant sources. The girl had apparently congratulated him for getting Severus’ help, saying, and he quote, that “Professor Snape’s suppressants was _the shit_ , the best shit anyone had ever created. Congrats for getting that free, and you know that you gotta pay for it when you get out of Hogwarts right?’, which made Longbottom freaked out for a while until Poppy had reassured the boy.

 

‘Severus would only start to charge for his potions when you have a stable income. It is not as if he was lacking in money, but he still need to charge for his service.’

 

Severus had enjoyed a good laugh from that when Poppy shared that with him. He did charge his potions a little higher than the usual being sold outside, but everyone who had tried his potions will know that in truth, he had overly undercharged them. The quality cannot be compared to the ones commonly sold, and Severus was damn proud of it.

 

On a side note, the detentions with Draco, Potter and Longbottom had finally come to an end. It was torture on all of them, Severus most of all. First, he had to have a heart to heart with his godson, both for the death of his father as well as his attitude in class.

 

No tears were shed, but it was a torture to even mention things like feeling, so all in all it was barely tolerable. Severus had lectured him about what will be expected of Draco now that he was Lord Malfoy, and that meant giving his full attention to his studies, and “for the love of Merlin decease your animosity with Potter already, or at least do it somewhere where I cannot see it, for it is getting tiring”.

 

Detentions with Potter was no different from all the detentions he had served with him before. They had never talked about Longbottom at all, other than the whispered ‘thank you’ from Potter during the first detention. Severus did them both a courtesy of nodding, and then ignore Potter for the rest of the detention after giving the alpha his tasks. And that was that.

 

With Longbottom… He did not oversee the detentions with Longbottom - he had, afterall, promised the boy that no more meetings other than the compulsory lectures, and he treated detentions as one of those. He sent the boy to Poppy under the guise of helping the Matron out in the hospital ward, but really was just an excuse to get the boy to talk to Poppy.

 

Then during a staff meeting, the next unwanted surprise came.

 

Severus since determined that he really. Hated. His. Life.

 

* * *

 

The staff meeting started with a big announcement made by Albus. ‘It appears that we may have to find a new professor for Care of Magical Creature soon, for our professor Montage will leave… when will it be?’

 

Professor Sussanah Montage, almost the same age as Severus ducked her head in apology. ‘Next week, Professor Dumbledore, and really, I am so sorry for this sudden announcement.’ She stood up to better address the staff present in the room. ‘My family in Italy had had a huge rift since my grandfather died, leaving behind all his inheritance, and I have to be there to sort things out as I am his oldest grandchildren. It might take a month, but to my understanding of my family it might even take up to a year.’

 

‘It is quite alright, my dear. We can always have Hagrid back to teach for the rest of the year…’ Albus mused, but was interrupted by Minerva.

 

‘Albus, you and I both know very well that Hagrid is now with Madame Maxime in France. You can’t expect him to leave her just for something like this?’ Minerva asked exasperatedly.

 

‘And besides,’ Montage added. ‘I actually have a solution for that… You see, one of my cousin can take my place and teach… He is just as good, if not greater than me at magical creatures, and he had already agreed to come if there is no one else available…’

 

‘Pardon my interruption,’ Severus drawled, drawing attention from the rest. ‘I would have thought that your family rift involves your cousin…?’

 

Montage shook her head and her hands at the same time. ‘Well, not really… He isn’t… Well, let’s just say that he won’t be involved in the family rift. He isn’t that much interested in money and… yeah.’

 

Albus looked at the young lady. ‘Well, if you would give me his resume, I will contact him as soon as I can, so the students’ studies will not be affected much. What was his name again?’

 

‘Oh, I didn’t mention that yet? His name is Marcellus Krant.’

 

Severus’ mind blanked out. He knew where that name came from, even after a month and a half. It was, after all, linked with the worst memory he could have.

 

Unintentionally Severus zoned out for the rest of the meeting, only resurfacing back when Minerva, who had saw his inattentiveness, called him out of it. But he had spent too much time as a spy to not have learnt how to retain information without focusing, and after a few scathing answers he was left alone.

 

But… If the man were to come… Not only would he risk that… incident being leaked out, Severus would have to spend an indefinite amount of time around someone who smelt like home… and he cannot. He cannot.

 

He dared not.

 

* * *

 

But whatever he had wished for, no matter how hard he had wished for the opposite, for anything else, come the next Monday Albus Dumbledore was introducing the school to one Professor Marcellus “please, just call me Marcus” Krant.

 

Severus had successfully hidden himself when the man first arrived in Hogwarts the day before, both to say goodbye to his cousin as well as to start getting used to living in Hogwarts. He wanted to savour the last day of peace, so he had kept to himself in his quarters, and asking the house elves to send his food up. The rest of the staff knew that sometimes Severus might get so into a potion that he was currently working on that they know not to expect Severus for food.

 

But he couldn’t avoid the unavoidable. The moment the man laid his eyes on Severus at breakfast Severus knew that the man still remembered him. So, he only glared just a bit harder, but that seemed to work just as well as last time, which was not at all. The man only frowned, bemused at his animosity.

 

After the short introduction, the breakfast commenced with the student’s mutterings louder than usual. Severus was thankful that he was seated quite far away from the new professor, but also at the right angle that he could just peeked at him from the corner of his eyes without anyone noticing.

 

The man hadn’t changed much from before, and from a more observant look Severus concluded that the man was most likely the same age as him, give or take a few years. He was far enough to not be able to smell the man’s personal scent, and he thanked Merlin for the whole time he was eating.

 

Now here’s to hoping that this seating plan would not change.

 

After food, Severus left for his class, and to his relief, even though the students were expectedly excited about the new professor (and so late in the year), a few glares and sharp words managed to calm them enough to avoid any potion disasters.

 

But later during the day, an elf came to him to pass a note, and Severus made a mistake of reading it during class. It read:

 

‘Professor Snape, I know from the glare that you still remember me. Would it be alright if we talk? I will be at my office from now until dinner. Marcus K’

 

In a fit of anger and frustration he threw the paper into his potion, which promptly digested it and turned into another colour. Then frustrated that his potion had failed (even though it was his own fault, he was at least mature enough to acknowledge that to himself) he got the current class to pack up their potion and leave, never mind that they still have an hour of class left, and “any more complaints and you will be writing a ten feet long essay!”

 

Then he stalked his way towards the man’s office (it was Montage’s, and after she had left, his) and slammed the door open. ‘How dare you summon me like I am some student of yours?!’ He demanded.

 

To his surprise (and grudging respect) the man only raised his head from whatever he was reading, and nodded to the seats he had in front of him. ‘Ah, Professor Snape. I should have expected you to be here the moment I sent the note. Please have a seat.’

 

He didn’t even acknowledge the fact that Severus had barged into his room without a forewarning or even a knock. That was the only reason why Severus accepted the invitation to sit down - it was the first time anyone had just ignore any rudeness that he had shown.

 

It definitely wasn’t because he could suddenly smell the scent he had been dreading of ever since he got the news that Krant will be in Hogwarts.

 

It wasn’t.

 

But still, after slamming the door close, he stomped to the seats, and sat down. ‘What do you want?’ He snapped.

 

‘Just a talk. We didn’t actually leave each other on good terms the last I saw you.’ The clear baritone of the man would make him dizzy with the sense of security if he hadn’t prepared himself for it. As it was, Severus only tightened his fists, fingernails dug into his flesh to remind himself of…

 

To remind himself that he did not deserve this, and he should not have the urge to get anything good for himself because he will only ruin it.

 

‘That did not require any meeting. I needed a Floo, you provided one. That’s the end of the conversation. So now if you would excuse me…’ He made to stand up.

 

‘Sit down, Severus, please. You and I both know that was not what just happened.’

 

Severus turned around so fast in anger that it almost gave him a whiplash. ‘Nothing happened! Nothing worth speaking about at all!’

 

It was as if his reaction gave the man all the answers that he wanted. Krant’s eyes softened with pity, and if there was one thing that Severus hated the most, it was pity being shown to him.

 

‘You did not know how glad I was when I saw that you are still alive, Severus. I had honestly thought that you mightn’t have gotten over the incident.’ Krant stood up, moved towards him and shifted his hands to lay them on his arm.

 

The shorter distance between them made Severus very uncomfortable, and he instinctively flinched from the touch. Seeing his reaction, Krant only nodded to himself and took a few steps back.

 

‘I actually just wanted to know another thing. Did you go to a hospital at all, Severus?’

 

The question made him snort. ‘And what? Let everyone know that I, Severus Snape, an alpha, one of the heroes that defeated Voldemort, was kidnapped and raped by three of the death eaters just because he was so careless?’

 

It was after he had finished his sentence that he realised that it was the first time he had acknowledged the fact that he was raped. Even while he was brewing the tracking potion, while he was exacting his revenge, that was what he thought about - revenge. If anything, he referred to it as an attack, not that he even needed to. There was no one to speak about this to - he wasn’t the type to talk.

 

Especially when it painted him as someone weak, a victim. Severus Snape can be anything, but not a weakling, not a victim.

 

It was then that he also realised that by saying that, he had all but confirmed to Krant that it was what had happened to him. What had happened to him and his paranoia, his control of his mouth?

 

Krant happened, that’s what. That and his personal scent.

 

In a fit of fury towards his mistake, he just sent his deadliest glare towards the brunette. The man only ducked his head, seemingly in pity.

 

Severus’s hands were shaking. In anger, in fear, in shame, he did not know. He clenched his fists harder, not willing to find out.

 

‘If there is anything, news, scandal or even rumours about this, I will ensure that what happened to me will not compare to anything that will happen to you.’

 

‘Of course Severus. I swear on my magic that if there are any rumours about this that came from my mouth, I will lay down and let you do whatever you want.’ Krant said sincerely, and Severus could detect no lies. But that didn’t mean anything. The man had worded it clever enough that even with rumours around, so long that it wasn’t started by him it would be fine.

 

If the issue wasn’t concerning himself and his whole life, he would have been grudgingly admiring that clever move, but this did concern his life. The life that he had built for himself, ever since he was a child.

 

‘Do not think that I missed what you have done. Anger me, Krant, and you will regret it. I do not let grudges go.’

 

With that, Severus stalked out of the room. This will be the last time he allows himself to be alone with the man. His whole being was dangerous - his personal scent that attracted him, his voice, the way his eyes gleamed when he had gotten what he wanted, the way he used to get what he wanted… The things that Severus appreciate in a person, for that only tells him of how intelligent and determine a person is.

 

He cannot risk it.

 

In his anger and frustration, he did not realise that the man had called him by his given name three times without his permission, and he had yet to correct a single one.

 

* * *

 

He spent the rest of the week, just waiting and dreading that the news that the vicious alpha Severus Snape was assaulted and couldn’t get away. That he was so pathetic and weak that he was actually raped by another alpha. But they never came.

 

His students suffered his more vicious than usual temper, and his fellow colleagues didn’t escape from it either, especially Marcellus Krant. The man bore it with good spirits, only nodding and agreeing to whatever he said without paying attention.

 

That just pissed Severus off even more, and after a few days almost all his anger was directed to him, which made the students breathed a sigh of relief. The rest of the staff? Not so much.

 

But he was happy to finally vent out his anger towards someone. And surprisingly, Krant was taking it with stride. He returned all his insults and snarls with sarcastic words and tone. Glares were met with Cheshire cat-like smile, and Severus would have been offended had the man not back that smile up with smart comments.

 

Honestly, the man had the same type of dark humour as he did. Hissed words that would usually be frowned upon only made the man grin.

 

This was a mistake. Severus should not have started this. To his defence, he had thought Marcellus Krant was the same as any other people - easily offended, and thus easily pushed away.

 

But the man had smiled when Severus snorted dark-heartedly at a small argument between Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall about the latest Quidditch match. He had huffed in amusement when Severus whispered under his breath that ‘One day that sport is going to kill someone and you two will argue about who had found the Snitch!’

 

And their eyes met, and for once they were in total understanding, even if it was something trivial about sports.

 

Severus looked away first, and Krant turned away to engage with Sprout about the latest plant blooming in the greenhouse.

 

And Severus knew he was completely fucked when it came to his mate.

 

* * *

 

Minerva McGonagall, worried about the recent interactions between Severus Snape and Marcus Krant, made a visit to Marcus’ office one day, just a few days after that first meeting between Marcus and Severus.

 

‘Minerva? This is a surprise, please come in.’ The man took a step back from his door, and allowed the older witch in. A few pleasantries, whereby he offered her some tea and they talked about some small current events, and Minerva finally got to the main reason of her visit.

 

‘So, Marcus. I have noticed that you and Severus are… Not getting along?’ She started, her hands on the teacup that was offered to her. And she was surprised that all she gotten was a good laugh.

 

‘Not getting along? That is the biggest understatement I’ve ever heard, Minerva! The man seemed to enjoy trying to rile me up!’

 

It was true - mornings were usually started with the two professors snarking the hell out of each other. Some afternoons will see the verbal fights that they have gotten into. Nights are usually quieter, but that was when the two professors had their markings to do.

 

If it was anything else, Minerva would have thought that this was one of the usually territory fights, where the resident alpha will try and gauge the other new-coming alpha, and the both of them trying out their new place in the pack. But this is usually done verbally, over their first meeting. She and Filius had done that with Marcus during the first day he was here himself. Severus wasn’t there, but it should have been fine with the two older alphas already establishing the park hierarchy.

 

But this didn’t have as much aggression. Well, there was, initially. But as of late it seemed that it had become a routine.

 

And Severus seemed, if not happy, then more content that he had ever been during the years he had been in Hogwarts, both from his school days or the days of him being a professor.

 

It was, sadly, a weird sight to behold.

 

‘Don’t worry too much, Minerva. I know how he is, after getting to know him better. Don’t worry that his words will hurt me.’ Marcus had shrugged. ‘I know how to handle the prickly kind.’

 

The words that he used to describe Severus was so accurate it made Minerva laughed. ‘The prickly kind, indeed! But if you are sure, then I will not interfere with the two of you.’

 

She left after bidding goodbye. Honestly she wasn’t very certain if she should allow the bickering and fighting to continue… She would just have to wait till the end of this term to decide. It was only April now, and the term will end on June. Enough time to observe the two professors’ interaction. If it was too disruptive, then she would just have to ask Albus to find a new professor.

 

But hopefully that does not need to happen, because she, along with the rest of the Hogwarts staff had taken a liking to the carefree man (well, except for the obvious Severus Snape who just lived to be contrary). She had even partook some gossips between the female professors, and knew quite a lot about the new professor.

 

He lived at the countryside before he came to Hogwarts because he wanted to spend his life near to the things that he loved - the wildlife and the magical creatures that he encountered there. He had a mastery in Care of Magical Creatures, but had decided to go off for his own research instead of staying near to society. He shared that same passion with his cousin Sussanah Montage, whom went on to become a professor.

 

But not only that, since he was mostly alone, he had learnt a lot about potions, herbology, and even astrology to help him along. He couldn’t get any potions anywhere - there wasn’t any apothecary within 50 miles of where he was living, and he was unwilling to apparate (something about being splinched before and was unwilling to do that again). Besides, he said when he was chatting with the staff during that first day he arrived, potions were easy enough! At least, the ones that he usually needed. And herbology wasn’t so much important than to recognise important ingredients as well as any that is edible by different species. Astrology came in handy when he needed the stars to migrate himself through the forest, when he wanted to go “full Muggle”.

 

Marcus Krant was a man that can be said to be totally opposite of who Severus Snape was, other than intelligent and dependable. He was carefree, helpful, full of smiles and praises. One can easily like him, which was hard to say about the Potion Master. It was no wonder that their personality clashed so much that they were fighting almost every day, though it was a little different from how one viewed Marcus Krant.

 

Minerva herself appreciated the new atmosphere that Marcus brought along with him, and hoped that he stayed.

 

Who knows, maybe after a while of bickering, he can even change the dour Potion Master to someone more… less like himself.

 

* * *

 

Three weeks after the arrival of the new Care of Magical Creatures professor, and Severus was running ragged.

 

He had sworn, sworn!, to himself that he would not go and seek out Krant, would not be alone with him, would not interact with him more than necessary. But what did he ended up doing? Looking for the man for a good old bickering every single day!

 

And as if that wasn’t enough, the man had started to think that they were now friend! And had moved to sit beside him for meals.

 

The scent had since then become an addiction. He could not go through one day without smelling that scent anymore. One deliberately missed meal, and his whole day was hell to go through, as if his soul was insecure in his body. It was when he had sat beside the man during dinner and took a heavy breath that he felt much more comfortable. At the same time, he felt his doom.

 

This cannot go on. He had stooped to the point where he would deliberately start a verbal fight with the man to get him to stop, just for a moment, to get his fill of the scent before moving on with his schedule.

 

In addition to that, now he was starting to feel uncomfortable in his body. His magic was getting wonky, his concentration harder to gather. Sometimes he had headaches so bad he had to rest his mind for a while to let the pain go away on his own; sometimes the pain was so bad he had to take potions to be able to stand long enough to go to classes.

 

The worst thing was that he had started to have nausea over anything and everything. Some potions fume just made him green in the face, when he had never had that reaction towards the potions at all. Vomiting was just a bonus (not).

 

And if that wasn’t the worse? He had kept on vomiting food, and yet he could see that he was starting to get a little fat. Not too much, but enough for him to notice.

 

_(Something was already forming in his mind, but that does not even bear to think about, and so he didn’t. Severus knew that he was so good at fooling others, that he can even fool himself)_

The only time that everything - his stomach, his head, his mood - was better, was when he had that scent, and he knew it was a bad thing, this addiction.

 

Severus was very good at making himself do something that he didn’t want to do - teaching dunderheads about his passion, spying for Albus, serving the Dark Lord. But apparently, he can’t make himself _not_ do something that he wanted to do.

 

The only thing now, is to hope that no one notices how weirdly he was behaving, what’s with all the physical discomfort translating to a lot of anger towards the students and fighting with Krant.

 

* * *

 

Severus was passing by a corridor, walking towards his office when there was a devastating cry and the yell of ‘Why don’t you smell the same anymore?!’ from a familiar voice. With a frown - that sentence didn’t seem all that logical in a normal condition - he went to check it out, figuring that it was a prank of some sorts.

 

It was Harry Potter, as he had figured from the voice, flanked by the two loyal guard dogs of his, Granger and Weasley. But surprisingly, the one that the sentence was directed to was Longbottom.

 

Potter was grabbing Longbottom’s arm, shaking it and demanding an explanation. His face was that of a devastated and confused boy, yet at the same time Severus knew instinctively that it was of a serious matter, at least in the view of Potter, or he wouldn’t have made a ruckus so public.

 

If there was one thing good that came out of the three of them, Severus, Potter and Albus getting together to defeat Voldemort, it was the fact that Severus was finally able to put down his bias and preconceptions of the boy, and knowing the boy for who he really was. He still didn’t like the boy, too Gryffindor after all the years of being treated as one, but he could say quite confidently that he knew who the boy is, what he would usually do. And random breakdowns in the corridor was not one of them.

 

Longbottom, on the other hand, had no idea what was going on at all. He was confused, and was trying to pull away from his fellow Gryffindor, but Potter was hanging too tightly to let go.

 

‘Harry! Stop it! What are you even doing?!’ The two sidekicks were trying their best to persuade their friend to let the poor boy go, but to no avail.

 

‘No! Don’t you see? Can’t you smell it? It’s gone! It’s gone! What did you do Neville?!’

 

‘I didn’t do anything! Let go of me!’

 

‘Did Snape do something to you! He must have, that bastard! Did he give you a potion telling you that everything will be fine? You are supposed to be mine! I don’t have you yet, but you are MINE!’

 

To everyone’s horror, Potter started scenting Longbottom in public, and started to wail. Horrifyingly.

 

Everyone knew that scenting someone is only done in private, and that scenting could only mean one thing - their personal scent is home.

 

Severus had enough. No need to let Potter derail his reputation any further than that. ‘Longbottom back! Stupefy!’ When Longbottom moved back a little, he cast his spell, making sure to hit Potter only. Longbottom managed to catch the stunned boy as he fell.

 

‘Longbottom, take Potter and yourself to the Hospital Wing and have Madam Pomfrey check on the two of you. The rest of you, I trust that this will stay between us only, unless you want to be very acquainted to all of the cauldrons in Hogwarts.’ Severus drawled, making sure to look at everyone in the eye. After receiving frantic nods, Severus shooed them away.

 

But there were two stubborn enough to remain.

 

‘Do you want to start cleaning the cauldrons now, Granger, Weasley?’

 

Weasley looked like he might burst in anger, and an elbow to the side by Granger stopped him. ‘Sir,’ Granger said, ‘We would like to follow Neville to Madam Pomfrey. There was nothing wrong with Harry until he suddenly… did that.’

 

There actually wasn’t any reason for them not to follow - he could gather more information from them there and then instead of having to summon them later.

 

‘Fine.’ He nodded for them to follow Longbottom, who was having some trouble carrying the other boy. Severus rolled his eyes. ‘For the love of Merlin Longbottom, you are a wizard! Act like it!’

 

The utter befuddlement in Longbottom’s eyes made him despair for the next generation. But Granger at least knew what he was talking about, and cast a spell to make Potter float behind them. With that the three of them (and one unconscious body) made their way to the infirmary.

 

Severus stayed for a while to threaten the people who had stayed to look at the drama. ‘I’m sure that I do not need to tell any of you to keep your mouth shut about this. Now get lost!’ The rest of the student scrambled to obey.

 

But he wasn’t fooled. Severus knew that this will become the main topic of gossip by the end of the day. At least by then he would have figured out just what on earth was going on with Potter.

 

* * *

 

When Severus arrived at the Infirmary Poppy was already casting spells after spells on Potter, who was rennervated. She gestured him closer when she noticed his presence, all the while ignoring what Potter was saying.

 

‘Look Madam Pomfrey, it’s not me you should be worrying about! It’s Neville! Please, something is wrong with him! Not me!’

 

At his side, the two sidekicks were busy talking to themselves, while he didn’t know where Longbottom went. At his curious look, Poppy told him ‘Mister Longbottom is in another room. I will check on him after I have determined that Potter is fine, as he said.’

 

From what he can see from here, Potter did look fine, if not a little worse for the wear after the breakdown. But that breakdown was so unlike the boy that Severus was sure that something was wrong. Perhaps it really was what he said, that it was not him, but Longbottom, triggering him to act that way.

 

But what could have happened to deserve such a ruckus?

 

When Poppy had exhausted all her diagnostic spells, she finally gave up and decided that there was nothing wrong with Potter. But she insisted the boy stay for the night, and had given him a Calming potion, just in case anything had triggered him to go berserk.

 

With a significant look towards Severus, she left to deal with Longbottom. Severus nodded to her - he was now tasked to gather all the information from the trio.

 

‘Tell me what happened.’ He demanded, aiming the question towards the one on the bed. But after a short second of eye contact, Potter turned to his two friends and asked for them to leave.

 

‘This… I’d rather talk to Professor Snape first… I don’t actually…know how to tell you.’ He muttered to them. Both Granger and Weasley looked a bit betrayed.

 

‘Harry, you know you can trust us, right?’ The girl said softly, her hands on Potter’s. At her side Weasley nodded. Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

 

‘It’s not my secret to tell.’ Potter insisted.

 

‘Oh, and so you can tell Snape but not us?!’ The hot-headed Weasley immediately protested, as Severus had expected. He only shifted his weight to the other foot, and waited for this argument to end so he could get the information he wanted.

 

Merlin spare him from dramatic teenagers.

 

‘Because he already knew. Please, just let me talk to the professor, then when I get permission from the other person, then I’ll let you know what’s going on.’ Potter had that stubborn grit of his jaw, and everyone who knew him well enough knows that he is just as stubborn as a rock.

 

The Granger girl held onto Weasley’s elbow and gave him a little pull. ‘Alright, Harry. But just promise that… this isn’t anything… dangerous?’

 

The boy in the bed shook his head reassuringly. ‘Not dangerous, at least, not like what we have had for the last few years…’

 

With another minute of reassurance, the two finally left, leaving Severus alone with Potter.

 

‘Tell me what happened.’ Severus repeated his question just a little impatiently.

 

‘Neville… is my… He smells like my home.’ The first sentence sent him to shock. It was the last thing Severus had even thought about that could lead to the situation he saw.

 

But as usual he only allowed himself to raise an eyebrow as an indication to his surprise. ‘When did you figure that out? And what does that have anything to do with what had happened?’

 

‘He smells like home, sir. He is home, to me.’ Potter admitted softly. ‘I knew this, and he knew it too, during our third year. We never talked about it, because both of us were alpha, and I thought this just proved how much of a freak I am, that I can’t even find a correct mate… You do not know that for a second, when I realised that Neville was an omega, I was so relieved, that for all the things that might have been wrong with me, this isn’t one of them…’

 

Severus frowned, listening on as he was unwilling to interrupt. But he kept that confession in mind - Harry Potter, thinking that he was… he has something wrong with him, when to everyone else he could do no wrong? Something was not quite right with this picture.

 

‘But when I bumped into him just now… his scent was… wrong. It wasn’t his personal scent anymore… And I… panicked.’ His head bowed low, his gaze only towards the pristine white of the sheets. ‘Yeah, I’ll admit that I went crazy, and I don’t think you’d understand. But…

 

‘When your whole life is always changing, when some megalomaniac kept trying to kill you, the only thing that will make you feel like home, something which had been constantly there for your whole life is suddenly gone… You’d go crazy too.’

 

Severus made a noise of acknowledgement. Truly he wouldn’t understand. The feeling of having something, then losing it…

 

Like Hell. He had lost a lot of things in his life. He essentially lost his mother, when his mother’s knowledge of his true gender was lost due to his own Obliviation. Him losing his best friend, Lily due to his own actions. Him losing any chance and hope of his future due to his choice of following Lucius Malfoy, and then Voldemort.

 

Truth be told, all the things that had happened to him, all the worst experience was because of his own decisions and actions. Other than the latest interaction with Malfoy and the rest…

 

‘I thought that something bad must have happen for someone to change their personal scent… I thought something had happened to Neville, that’s why I panicked and… yeah, that happened.’

 

Perhaps of everyone else, he of all understood how Potter feel. After all, didn’t he also have a taste of _home safety belonging_ before losing that? All of his own choosing. (Although every now and then he would try to sneak a few sniffs - which was actually very despicable and he shouldn’t have done so - from Krant sometimes when he walked past him).

 

But this wasn’t about him, it’s about Potter, and Longbottom, and this had triggered a past memory that was tied to this.

 

Severus nodded and stood up. ‘Perhaps I know what had happened, but to be sure I will have to consult with Madam Pomfrey. Since the matron had already cleared you, I suggest you go back to your dorm and rest for the day. You’re excused from your classes; I will write you a note to excuse you from classes.’ He made his way to the exit.

 

‘Professor? Does that mean you know what had happened?’

 

Severus shook his head. ‘I am not certain, but I do have some idea as to what might have happened.’ He didn’t elaborate any further, and ignored any other calls for him.

 

Yes, he did have some ideas about this… But first he would have to check with Mister Longbottom.

 

* * *

 

Ten minutes with Longbottom confirmed that the only deviation from his usual diet was Severus Snape’s own creation to suppress heats as well as eliminating anything that can betray an omega in hiding. Ensuring Poppy that he suspected something and needed more research, he was allowed back to his potion lab, where the first thing he did was to take one vial of the suppressants from his stock and started doing tests.

 

Years ago, back when he first started selling the suppressants of his own making, he had encouraged his buyers to report to him any effects after ingesting the suppressants. He was still at the early stages of improving the basic omega suppressants, and although he was certain that it will do what it was supposed to do, which is to stop heats, he was hoping that the changes that he did will do more than that.

 

Having heats are one of the biggest clues of being an omega, but that isn’t all. Hormones and scents can betray one’s gender just as easily. For omegas that just do not wish to have heats, but are able to live their life normally as omegas, the basic suppressants sold in the market are enough.

 

But for those who do not wish to be an omega at all, who do not want others to know about their secondary gender, then stopping heats are only the first thing they need to do.

 

Personality and behaviours are easy; personality can be changed, and with care and practice behaviours can be altered to make others assume a wrong gender. But scents are harder to disguise. Each gender has their own distinct scents, and one simple whiff is enough to identify an alpha from an omega.

 

Scent cancelling soap is available on market, but without a scent it is glaringly obvious that one is hiding something. And for people like Severus who wants to hide, that initial suspicion is enough to bring down everything that he had done to avoid detection.

 

That isn’t even adding the problems that hormones could cause. Hormones to attract mates, to scare off potential dangers, to ask for help…

 

The ultimate suppressants that Severus had wanted to make was to completely eliminate any risk or hints that will betray the person in hiding’s gender. It will hide any omega scents that one would emit, as well as any hormones. Then he had also added ingredients to make sure that even though one’s heat will not occur, they would also be infertile. So for those that do become intimate with another, as long as they still continue to take the suppressants they will not get pregnant.

 

The effects will only last as long as they ingest the suppressants. That was the only weakness that Severus knew - if one were to stop taking them, the effects will immediately fade.

 

But that wasn’t the only weakness that he knew of. Occasionally, his buyers would write to him about something suspicious that had happened after they had started on the suppressants.

 

Their personal scent had changed.

 

To those that had met their mates before they use the suppressants, they reported that their mates cannot scent them anymore, and they ended up not using his potions due to the stress that the absence of personal scent had caused their mates.

 

But those examples were few and rare, because for most of the omegas that are in hiding, they didn’t meet any mates, nor wanted to be with them even if they did. And since it wasn’t important - personal scents and mates aren’t as important as your own life if someone found out you are an omega and had hidden your gender - Severus just treated it as a mild side-effect, and ignored it.

 

After all, for those whose life depended on the fact that their gender will not be known, having a false personal scent could only help, and not hinder matters.

 

However now he would have to investigate further about his potion. Perhaps he would also have to create a new recipe that would do what the suppressants needed to do, and yet will not cause any changes to the buyers’ personal scents.

 

Just for that Longbottom boy, or else the boy’s secret will be out soon, judging from Potter’s reaction to the loss of his scent.

 

* * *

 

His experiment was a success, and in a week he managed to brew up a suppressant that will not affect the Omega’s personal scent. In that time, the two troublesome children had already started to attend their classes, and Poppy had specifically ordered Potter not to go near Neville until Severus was done with the new potion.

 

Severus sent a note for Longbottom to meet him at the Infirmary, with Poppy there to make sure there isn’t any allergic reaction or what-not towards the new potion, because he had had to change quite a number of ingredients to get what he wanted.

 

‘It’ll only take effect after a few weeks, to flush the previous potion away. It shouldn’t be any different from what you were given the last month, so if there _are_ any side-effects, go to Madam Pomfrey.’ Severus told the boy, who nodded.

 

He turned to leave for his own quarters (he hadn’t had a good night sleep, since most of his time was spent brewing and experimenting), but before he could leave Longbottom called out to him.

 

‘Professor? Why didn’t you just ask me to go to your office to take this? Why did you have to involve Madam Pomfrey?’

 

Said matron was standing at the side, bumbling around with her medical supplies, but always had Longbottom within her sight. At that question, she looked towards Severus and smiled, but kept quiet.

 

Severus only wanted to facepalm, or sigh. He wanted to ask Merlin why was he saddled with witless and brainless children when he could have lived happily in his potion labs, never to explain himself to anyone. But he did none of those, and only glare at the unsuspecting Omega.

 

‘Mister Longbottom, consider the fact that even though you are under suppressants, you are still an omega, and I am an alpha. Unlike other people who don’t know your real gender, I do know it, and thus it violates my own morals.’ He said in an almost monotone voice. He kept his dead-panned glare on the omega, just for a few second to drive his point through.

 

How did someone so unsuspecting like Longbottom even get to live until his age was a mystery that honestly, Severus will never know, nor want to.

 

Nodding to Poppy, he left quickly so he won’t be delayed any further, and ruin his reputation.

 

* * *

 

Neville looked to Madam Pomfrey, who was smiling at the man leaving hastily.

 

He used to think that Severus Snape was the worst kind of alpha he had ever known, along with his father. He was always angry, and with the frowns and glares and his posture it was a wonder that he ever went for his classes. After the incident with his uncle, even though he tried to be more ‘alpha’-ish, he was still afraid of them, of what they could do.

 

So when he got found out by Snape, he thought he was dead. Being raped during a heat was the worst thing that can happen to an omega, because on one hand your mind is totally against it, but on the other your body will just keep on searching for the nearest body heat, to try and cool down the heat in your own body.

 

But instead the man had jumped away like he had saw a ghost or a devil, and the rest was…

 

‘Mister Longbottom, if you are feeling alright then I think you can attend your afternoon classes.’ The matron raised her eyebrows when the boy didn’t move.

 

‘Madam Pomfrey…’ He asked tentatively. ‘Was Professor Snape always this gentle… I mean, thoughtful towards omegas?’

 

He was about to say gentle, but there was nothing gentle in his tone, nor his body gestures at all. So thoughtful was the more accurate word.

 

Madam Pomfrey, to his surprise, snorted in laughter. ‘Him? That grumpy bat, gentle! Don’t make me laugh!’ However, when she calmed down she smiled warmly at Neville.

 

‘That man had always treated omegas nicely, no matter his appearance. You know how he had dealt with your heat earlier this year?’ Upon his nod, she went on. ‘He had done that to a lot more omegas over the years. Once he had done his part in taking care of them, which just meant leaving them to the house elves’ care, he will do his best not to be alone with them. It’s actually a good thing too, because some of the omegas had actually asked me if they would need to _repay_ him for what he had done.’

 

The way she had said ‘repay’ left no doubt to what it meant - they were thinking of paying in the way of sex. Neville can’t deny that he hadn’t thought of that, until Madam Pomfrey explained to him about the suppressants and how he could actually pay for it in money later once he had a job.

 

And the fact that Snape had said something like _“I do not expect any more meetings like this between us, in fact I actively discourage it”,_ made Neville think that really, the man wasn’t so bad after all.

 

Besides, the man had actually made an effort to create a potion that would not affect his personal scent. It wasn’t for himself, since the man had already sold so much of his older version of the potion, but it was for Neville, and a little bit for Harry too.

 

Although he would never say anything about how nice he was, at least now he knew that he was a good man, even though he was an alpha.

 

_Maybe alphas aren’t all bad after all… but Harry is an alpha too, and he’s totally not like how alphas are normally… And he does smell nice…_

 

* * *

 

The rumours finally dimmed down on how Potter went crazy one day (it was borderline hilarious, the reasons those students could come out with), and things seemed to be back to normal for Potter and Longbottom.

 

Or perhaps not normal, but… The two seemed to be much closer to each other than before. A misdirecting question towards Poppy, and she spilled the whole thing.

 

_‘Oh, Neville told Potter about his true gender, and why he was hiding. So I guess that’s why they seemed close. But the rest I don’t know.’_

Well, he could guess what happened. Potter must have finally told Longbottom that he was his mate. Knowing how those Gryffindors work, Severus would have suspected more celebration and booze. But Longbottom seemed to have decided not to reveal his true gender to the public yet.

 

Whatever. As long as the two don’t come causing more trouble then he’ll be happy enough.

 

Besides, he’d got a different problem right now.

 

‘Urgh, for the love of Merlin… that was the third time this week…’ He mumbled to himself as he flushed the toilet.

 

He had thrown up three times this week, and it wasn’t as if he had eaten food that had gone bad, because the house elves would rather kill themselves first before serving bad food. But he hadn’t eaten out, nor eaten anything else. He hadn’t been cursed, he hadn’t ingested any potions other than his monthly suppressants. He didn’t know what was wrong, and that made his temper flare even more during classes.

 

Not only that, he had been feeling more tired than usual, and his whole body just sagged over the unexplainable _wrongness_ in his body.

 

The only time it had felt better, was when he was near Krant, and his scent.

 

Shaking his head to push that thought away, he washed his face and rinsed his mouth. He shouldn’t be near Krant at all. This weakness was simply too… He can’t afford to let anyone know that he was his mate, that his scent was his home.

 

Alphas and alphas can’t get together, after all. It wasn’t because of prejudice or anything - nature had decided on that herself - no same gendered people ever reported of having scented _home_ in another person of the same secondary gender.

 

That didn’t mean that there aren’t same gendered couples - in this world where people are as different as shells on beaches, you can have all kinds of people in the world. But they aren’t soulmates, and their personal scent won’t be home for the other.

 

(But who knows, the world is so huge. Perhaps there _are_ same-gendered couples out there who are also mates. But they didn’t tell anyone, and no one wrote about it in books, so Severus shall remain believing in the fact that there are no same-gendered couples in this world until he was proven wrong).

 

_But scent isn’t the only thing that can be home, and a person can love someone without the need of having the correct scent._

Severus knew, ever since the incident with Longbottom, the reason why Krant had not reacted to his scent that time in his little cottage. The suppressants that he was on had changed his scent, just like what it had done to Longbottom. The man hadn’t been able to smell his true scent.

 

Mates are always a pair; one person may have multiple soulmates, but it wasn’t a one-way connection. _Both_ of them will feel the connection. That was why Severus though he was the weird one, when he could smell home in Krant, but Krant didn’t react at all.

 

It was a good thing, that his scent wasn’t identified. He wouldn’t have to taint that perfect man with his dark past.

 

And with his health like this… perhaps he had to schedule an appointment with Poppy… Maybe later, when he wasn’t so busy.

 

As if his body would let him decide, because his body failed him, a few days later.

 

* * *

 

Everything came to a head when he fainted in class. It was the session with the fourth years Ravenclaws and Slytherins, and if Severus was still conscious, he would be grateful that his students were at least mature enough to know what to do, or rather, what not to do.

 

(He was grateful, afterwards. After he got through the anger and the embarrassment, which admittedly took a long time.)

 

They did not, in fact shout in panic, nor did they jump with glee seeing the greasy bastard’s weakness. Instead, one of the Slytherins directed the rest of the classmates to spell the contents of their cauldrons away, while two of the Ravenclaws, having learnt first aid, tried to help Severus. A few of the others ran off to get Madam Pomfrey, and Professor Dumbledore, or really any professors they meet on their way.

 

When Ria Sherlent, one of the Ravenclaws casted a general Diagnostic charm to determine if there was anything wrong with the unconscious professor, her results gave everyone who was there (which was thankfully not much) a huge surprise.

 

It was as if everything paused, the scene focused on the results of the diagnostic charm. Everyone had their eyes on it, and couldn’t believe their eyes.

 

 _It can’t be!_ That simultaneously popped into their minds. _Professor Snape can’t be…!_

That was when Madam Pomfrey rushed in, took in the scene, and took control of the situation. Most of the students were already gone from the classroom, knowing that their presence would only hinder anyone who tried to help the professor. The ones remaining seemed to be calm enough to be able to assist her, even with the shocking news.

 

Her tone and body posture were tense with stress, both from the revelation from the results, and the fact that her colleague, her _best friend_ , had fainted for no reason at all. Imagine her shock, when she saw a student rushed by her while she was on her way back to her Infirmary, and was halted by a shout of ‘Madam Pomfrey! Professor Snape! Dungeons!’

 

She needed no more information than that.

 

And now, she was kneeling beside the man, who had thankfully fainted far away from anyone’s cauldron. A small bruise on the back of his head was quickly healed, but Poppy still wanted the man to be in her Infirmary, as soon as possible. But a quick glance at the Diagnostic charm results told her there was one more thing she had to do, to protect her best friend.

 

The students, only four to be exact, two from each house, agreed. They swore on their magic that they will not reveal it out, even though they still have no idea how and why it happened, or if there was anything wrong with the charm, or…

 

But Professor Snape was a respected professor to them, who had changed after the war. They had the new Snape only for a year, but it was enough to change their perception towards him. The new Snape was almost as fair as McGonagall, which was to say just a little bias towards their own house. He did not fly into a rage that easily, and he was willing to slow down and explain something that from his tone you would know that he deemed it basic knowledge. His sarcasm was a little more tolerable, his insults hidden with more suggestions to improve.

 

Gryffindors will never like Professor Snape, but for the rest of Hogwarts, he was someone to be respected. And if really, if the results were true, then Professor Snape will become someone whom they will fight to protect.

 

The four, who refused to leave, helped Madam Pomfrey to bring the unconscious man to her Infirmary, where Professor Dumbledore awaited. Then they were thanked, and kicked out.

 

Madam Pomfrey didn’t bother with the Headmaster, and the Headmaster knew her well enough to stay out of her way. But he was not able to stifle his gasps when the same results were shown, when Poppy casted a Diagnostic Charm.

 

The same results that indicated that the patient was pregnant. For at least one or two months.

 

But this is Professor Snape, one of the strongest Alphas in Hogwarts.

 

How?

 

* * *

 

Severus woke up to hushed whispers, and groaned. His limbs felt weak and numb, his head dizzy, and the light was too bright, and the voices were too loud…

 

And then the voices stopped, hearing his groan. The curtains pulled open, and two people came in. Severus pushed his hands behind him to get himself up, but was thankful for Poppy’s immediate help in the form of a supporting hand. Albus, on the other hand, stood at the side.

 

It was obvious that the older wizard was unhappy about something, and guessing from the fact that Severus was in the hospital bed, it must be something about him.

 

‘Poppy. Albus.’ The _what happened_ was not said, but strongly implied.

 

Poppy waved her wand for the normal routine check-up while Albus took a step forward. ‘You fainted in the middle of your class. Severus, why did you not tell me? Why did you not tell anyone?’ The Headmaster’s tone was chastising, and immediately Severus went through his memories to see what he had done wrong.

 

There were a lot of things he didn’t tell anyone, so much that he didn’t even know where to start. The fact that Marcus was his mate? That they had met before, and it was because he was…attacked? The fact that he was the one who killed the last few of the Death Eaters, and it was because of an unexpected attack?

 

Severus kept his face blank, waiting for Albus to continue. Without knowing just what was it that had caused this whole incident, he would not do anything to incriminate himself. But he would never imagine the words that came out from the headmaster’s mouth.

 

‘Why did you not tell us that you are pregnant?’

 

* * *

 

_Pregnant. What. What in the world._

_He cannot be. Pregnant, no. He religiously takes his suppressants, which also keeps him from being fertile._

‘No.’ Was all that he could manage. He clenched his fists. The word _pregnant_ twirled around his mind, mocking him.

 

‘Do not lie, Severus. Even a Fourth year student was able to cast a spell that proves that you are, in fact pregnant.’

 

_No._

‘Let’s not, for now, talk about how you have hidden your gender for so long. We need to talk about how you could deal with your classes…’

 

Severus let Albus drone on, his mind still stuck at the word _pregnant._ With his mind, it wasn’t a great leap to link this to the incident two months ago. The day where everything had gone wrong.

 

_The anti-suppressants must have cancelled the infertility component of his suppressants. And since he only had a heat stopper later, before he was trapped with Malfoy and the rest, he would have been fertile._

There was only one weakness in his potion, if one treats the fact that the potion changes the person’s personal scent as a strength instead of a weakness. The effects of the potion, if one missed a dose, or had consumed an anti-suppressant, will immediately disappear. Which explained how Severus almost went into heat mere minutes after he was exposed to the anti-suppressents. It served to explain how he could be fertile, and ended up being pregnant after he was…

 

After he was raped.

 

 _It served no purpose to deny this now,_ he told himself. _You were raped, or else this wouldn’t have happened._

‘…It was not wise of you, to be pregnant at such a time, especially when you are not mated, nor even an omega to begin with. Severus. Severus, are you listening to me?’ Albus was still talking. Severus looked up to the man. He could practically _see_ the man’s disappointment, though he didn’t know if its due to him not paying attention to him, or was it due to this whole situation.

 

Well, if it were him, he would be disappointed too. An omega pretending to be an alpha and lied his way through puberty, through adulthood. Then something stupid like getting pregnant happened. Everybody knows only omegas and female betas get pregnant.

 

‘Severus.’

 

Oh, and now Albus was getting impatient. He should be, Severus hadn’t been listening to what he was saying the moment he started having words come out of his mouth. Was this how shock feels like?

 

No, this can’t do. He had been a Death Eater for almost half his life, a spy, a weapon of the light.

 

_Get yourself together, Severus Tobias Snape. Getting pregnant isn’t the worse thing that had happened to you._

He took a breath, and finally allow his gaze to concentrate on the old wizard.

 

‘I will have my resignation letter on your desk by tomorrow, Headmaster. Do not worry that I will tarnish Hogwarts’ reputation. You may tell everyone that I am down with a rare disease. I will find a replacement for a Potion Master, and in return I would ask you not to tell anyone of my… situation.’

 

Albus Dumbledore looked at him in surprise. ‘No, Severus, that was not what I want.’

 

Severus frowned. _He doesn’t want…what? Does he still want me to work for him? Or does he want to tell people of my situation?_ He kept quiet. Only the deliberate rhythmic breathing belied the storm in his mind.

 

He was working on the last of his nerves, his calm. There was too much things, all at once. Once he dealt with Albus Dumbledore, he would have to deal with anyone who knew he was an omega, and then he would have to deal with the… thing inside him.

 

Then he would have to find a new job; with his savings he could only live on his own for about four months. And if Dumbledore was insistent on making sure everyone knows his true secondary gender then he would need to spend more to get away from Scotland, or even England.

 

‘Alright, that’s enough.’ Poppy bustled right through his thoughts, catching his and Albus Dumbledore’s attention. ‘The two of you are practically having two separate conversations. Albus, out. I have my patient to deal with. You can talk to him when he calmer.’

 

The old wizard took a glance at the man in the hospital bed, and promptly took his leave. But not without telling the both of them to ‘not allow Severus to leave without talking to me’.

 

* * *

 

When the Headmaster left it was as if he took everything heavy on Severus away from him. _The immediate threat was gone. He has time. He has time to finally think, and figure out what’s the best way around this that would not let himself get hurt._

But before he could really sink into his mind, Poppy tap the back of his hand with his fingers. Lightly enough just to get his attention, but not hard enough to really startle him.

 

That was what she had always done when he was in her care. Which reminded Severus that he had also lied to this woman, Poppy Pomfrey for almost the whole time he was in Hogwarts. _He lied and lied and lied, had done everything he could to keep himself safe. But the one thing that had led him to this was the one thing that he wanted to save himself from._

‘I know everything is overwhelming, and I know you want to be left alone so you can think.’ Poppy began with a no nonsense tone. ‘I will let you do that, but you’ll need answers to the questions that I know you have, and I am here to answer them. Then once you run out of questions, I will give you all the information you need for you to be able to make the right choice.’

 

‘You do not hate me? Begrudge me for lying to you?’

 

The matron had the guts to roll her eyes fright in front of him, as she fussed around him. ‘The only thing I don’t appreciate is the fact that you tried to hide your pregnancy, even insisting on being on suppressants even though we all know that the baby can only survive on the mother’s true hormones. Did you want to die?’

 

_Did he? Did he want to die? He doesn’t know._

‘I didn’t know.’

 

‘Hmm?’ The sharp glance from the matron, one of his closer colleague… _dare he say, a friend?..._ had him ducking his head.

 

‘I didn’t know that I was pregnant.’

 

‘But how can you not know…’ The bewilderment was expected, but Severus found himself unable to explain to her. Not the circumstances where he was made pregnant, nor the fact that he had been feeling unwell for weeks. Perhaps he had thought about this possibility, but he was, as always, so good at denial. Especially towards himself.

 

No, maybe one day he could sit down with her, and talk about this over tea. But not now, not when he was still confused as to what to do.

 

Poppy seemed to know what he was thinking, as she didn’t finish her question. She only nodded in acceptance, and sat down on the visitor chair.

 

The first thing Severus asked was obviously expected by the elder woman. ‘Can I get rid of it?’

 

There was no gasp of horror, no lecture about how precious a child is, or how precious a life is. No glare of anger, no frown of pity. She only shook her head, and explained.

 

‘The embryo has been living on very little of its mother’s hormones. So it had clung tight to you, your magic and your soul. If it dies, you will die along with it.’

 

Severus cannot help but laugh. ‘Figured, that even after they are dead, what they did will kill me in the end…’ His hand grasped at the ends of his hair fallen in front of his face, and pulled. The pain awakened him, just a little. Enough to keep himself focused.

 

‘How long was I unconscious? Who was the one that Albus said knew my condition?’

 

It had been a day after he had fainted, she told him, and that she had already dealt with the ones that knew and saw the results of the diagnosis spell.

 

‘Swore them to secrecy, that I did. They are in your Fourth year Ravenclaws and Slytherins. I can give you their names later, but they are trustworthy. No rumours out yet, anyways.’

 

Severus nodded. If the matron had assured that they would not say anything, then at least he could take ‘threatened those who know into silence’ out of the URGENT TO BE DONE list, and into the NEED TO BE DONE list.

 

‘In any case, I think you need to know what I have to say next.’ Poppy continued. ‘First of all, no more suppressants. When is your next dose due?’

 

He felt uncomfortable talking about this out loud, even though they both know that the secret was out already. ‘In two weeks.’

 

‘Well, we definitely can’t have you wait it out then. You’ll die in three days.’

 

‘Isn’t it better, if I die?’ He whispered.

 

The world came to a stop.

 

_Oh Merlin he cannot believe he had said it out what the hell was he thinking should’ve kept his mouth shut for the love of Merlin do you want to be sent to St Mungo, and stay there permanently_

The gentle tap on his hand brought him back to Poppy’s warm eyes. ‘No, it is not better, especially since you have already met your mate, right? Would you do that to him?’

 

_What._

* * *

 

‘I… I don’t have a mate, you’re wrong.’

 

It was the weakest argument he had ever had, but his mind was at his limit. Everything was coming out, his secrets no longer secret.

 

‘The only way a baby can survive for this long, when its mother is on suppressants, is if the mate is close by. It won’t live until birth, because the mother’s hormone is still essential for that, but the mate’s presence can help prolong its life.’

 

She was the best in everything involved in medicine and care, at least, she was better than Severus. And it was definitely true (which explained why everything when he was feeling unwell, he had the urge to seek Marcus, and he had felt better in the alpha’s presence).

 

So Severus only kept quiet. Any more denials out of him would just make him look pathetic. But it seemed that Poppy wasn’t finished yet.

 

‘You were unconscious for a day, and after the diagnosis showed that your pregnancy was about two months, I knew immediately that you must have had your mate close by. Your suppressants are the best among all, so there is no chance for the embryo to still be alive after two months lacking maternal hormones. You have never mentioned meeting your mate before, which knowing you, of course not. But I watched you, whenever I could. I always keep an eye on you. And you have been acting weird, ever since two months ago. There’s only one new person that had come in two months ago, and which you were acting weird towards, it wasn’t that far a leap.’

 

Her smile was wry, her gaze the same as that day when he finally succumbed to the fact that he couldn’t heal all his injuries from the Death Eater meetings, and went to her for help. It was a mixture of exasperation, pain, guilt, hurt, sadness all together.

 

That was the first time he received this kind of gaze from her, but today will definitely not be the last.

 

‘All the questions, Severus. You don’t know how much I have. Why didn’t you tell him, is he the father, why didn’t he recognise you as a mate… But I won’t ask them, not now anyways. I am not the one who needs to know the most.’ The twitch of an eyebrow indicating that they both knew who should be the first one Severus tells.

 

She came closer to him, and reached out, telegraphing her every move until her palm reached his head, giving him a caress. He ducked his head, not due to the weight of the touch, but to the meaning behind it.

 

‘Rest well, I’ll have your lunch sent to you soon.’ She said, and was gone, the curtains closing around behind her.

 

And Severus was finally alone, surrounded by all the things that had happened, that was revealed, and what might happen in the future.

 

He laid back down, and decided to be a coward for one day. Casting a spell so that anyone who step close to the curtains that opened to his bed will trigger an alarm for him, he buried his face into the pillows.

 

And cried.

 

* * *

 

Poppy Pomfrey was worried sick about her newest patient.

 

It has been three days since Severus Snape was admitted into her special care ward. Two days since he had ingested a moderately strong anti-suppressant. One day since his natural omega scent returned.

 

The moment she went in the room, and tried to scent him (it was a new scent for her, and it was a natural thing to do) Severus had almost went crazy and tried to Stun her. But he stopped himself mid-way, horror in his eyes.

 

‘You…can smell me? Smell that I’m an omega?’

 

The hesitant voice, very much unlike the strong, poised baritone, broke her heart. But she knew how much pride meant for him, so she only nodded her head, and went on her business.

 

Keeping a side-eye on her patient, but showed a great concentration to her own task that he won’t notice he was being watched. It was a skill she had had practice for years.

 

When she turned to leave, she could see the figure on the bed curled up to himself even more, closing himself from the world. The scent of an omega in distress was bad enough that even a neutral beta like her couldn’t help the twist in her chest, but the scent of a pregnant omega in distress was even worse.

 

No, this cannot do. Either the man needed to leave this room, immediately, or something, someone needed to induce the change in Severus’ attitude. Else he would just shut down, and never return.

 

It’s not good for the baby, and definitely not good for him.

 

Oh he acted the usual when Albus came by two days ago, before he had the anti-suppressant. They were talking about Severus’ replacement, while he was indisposed. He was the epitome of himself before everything had happened.

 

Albus had assured him that his position will still be his after he gave birth, and he was more than welcomed to have his child grow up here. The house elves would be delighted to have a young one in their care.

 

The assurance obviously worked some wonder on Severus. His shoulders drooped a little, when Albus left. As if the weight on his shoulders were lessen just a little, enough for him to relax for a while. But it tensed back when she gave him the anti-suppressant.

 

He took it in his hands, and gave Poppy a look.

 

‘Its either that, or you die. And for the love of all that is mighty, I care about you too much to let you die. So either you eat that voluntarily, or I stuff it up your throat.’

 

That threat actually made the man smile, just a tiny twitch at the corner of his lips. ‘Or you can always magic it into my stomach, that’s more elegant.’ His teasing voice was something that Poppy didn’t know she missed until now.

 

Which only meant she was even more determined to get it back.

 

‘Well, if being violent makes a better impression out of you, I don’t mind. Now eat that up, and sleep. You’ll feel uncomfortable soon, as your body starts to react to it.’ She was given an eye roll, because oh yeah. Severus must be an expert about this by now. She smiled, and left him alone.

 

That was the most words she had gotten out of him for two days now. And she had had enough. It’s time to do something that Severus will definitely hate her for, in the short term.

 

She’s going to bring in Marcellus Krant.

 

* * *

 

Marcus peeked into the white rooms of the hospital wing, but it was empty. Well, there wasn’t anyone up and about, nor were there anyone on the bed that he could see.

 

Except for that one room, which had its doors closed.

 

What was it that Madam Pomfrey had said…?

 

_Marcus was ambushed in the teacher’s lounge. He was there grading papers. The background noise of people talking, and the scratch of quill against parchment was just what he needed to concentrate on his work. Or else his mind would wonder towards the whereabouts of a certain potion professor._

_Almost all the professors were there when Headmaster Dumbledore made his announcement that Professor was out due to a rare disease. They all arranged who would be taking over his classes, and Marcus felt confident in his abilities enough to volunteer for the Fourth year students. Soon everything was set up, and everyone went on with their day._

_But Marcus was a little worried though. He noticed that that Severus was feeling a little under the weather for at least a few weeks now. Although he always seemed to recover well enough to bicker with him…_

_So when Madam Pomfrey ambushed him in the teacher’s lounge, starting with ‘He would totally hate me for this, but Marcus, do you want to meet with him?’_

_She didn’t specify who it was, but everyone and their mother knows the relationship between him and the potions master. Not a relationship, per se, but Marcus can guarantee that he would be the second closest person to Severus, beaten only by the woman standing in front of him. And it was only that because Severus himself had allowed it. Of course, the fact that Marcus was persistent did help._

_‘Of course! But isn’t he sick? Shouldn’t he rest then?’_

_The matron scratched the back of her neck. Her tone was full of fondness and exasperation, as if towards a younger brother, or even a son who was insistent on not doing what was told. ‘Let’s just say that you are one of his cure, but he was stubborn enough not to involve you.’_

_Marcus raised his eyebrows in surprise._ Me? His cure? What? _But he still agreed to go and give him a visit._

_After telling him where the man was, and the password to undo the wards for him (_ ‘Wouldn’t he be mad that… this seemed like a betrayal to his privacy.’ ‘Yeah, well. I told you, your being there would already make him mad at me, this is just something extra. I can handle his prissy attitude, but I can’t handle him shutting himself from the world’) _she offered him some advice._

_‘You are close to your animals, right? Treat him like one that was hurt, or something. He had been through a lot, not just lately. He refused to talk to me, but I know his whole life was a hardship. Just, take care of him, will you?’_

_The words took him by surprise, and maybe just a little relief. It seemed that he had at least confided Madam Pomfrey about the rape. But what she said was vague enough for him to be a little unsure._

_No matter, there was one thing he can promise her. ‘I will take care of him.’_

Marcus knew the feeling inside him, the way he felt towards Severus Snape. He himself was an alpha, and he knew very well that the other man was an alpha too. But… He had had crushes before, during his school years, and this was starting to feel more than a crush.

 

He knew very well that this could even go further into the ‘love’ territory, the more he interacted with the dour man. He was first attracted to his stubbornness.

 

Severus Snape can define his whole life with only one word – stubbornness. Maybe perseverance might have been a better word, but stubborn seemed to fit the man better. As if he lived his days just to spite others, stubbornly standing his ground against those who wants to do him harm.

 

Voldemort, of course, was just one example. The fact that he was working under Dumbledore even as he was working under Voldemort only screamed who Severus Snape was as a person. Working for whatever he believed to be right at the time, but once he changed his mind, he dove right into what he was supposed to do. To his enemies, he was a force to be reckoned with.

 

Then the…assault. The fact that he did not escape via suicide, even though it was glaringly obvious, once Marcus was in Hogwarts, that no one knew at all what had happened to him. He would have been all alone, having to face _that_ alone. It was devastating just to think about it. But he lived on, and seemed to be just as he was, from what he had heard via rumours and gossips.

 

But it wasn’t just his stubbornness that kept Marcus’ interest. His rotten humour, his passion towards his potions, his confidence towards his talents, his attentiveness towards minor details.

 

The fact that Severus Snape was also just a little attracted to him, but was forcing himself to keep his distance was another crucial thing about him. The way he still unconsciously navigated himself towards Marcus, and the self-hating frown when he realised what he had done.

 

Marcus awaited patiently the day when the man finally would relax enough, just for Marcus to sneak under his protective walls, and show him that Marcus was definitely attracted to him too.

 

No matter that both of them are alphas.

 

Initially, he didn’t think too much of the man who he had stumbled upon that day and brought into his home, other than the brief _“I wonder if he was alright”._ But the offer from his cousin came; he was invited to teach a subject that he was quite familiar with at Hogwarts, and he thought about the Alpha he had met immediately.

 

It wasn’t the main reason he decided to come to Hogwarts, him trying to get close to someone he had an eye on. Money was, as well as the things that were offered, including food and a place to live for free. But it definitely played a role in swinging his decisions.

 

When he arrived, Marcus’ attention was immediately snatched when he realised that the man was still alive, and was just as an asshole he was at that time.

 

The first talk they had was explosive, at least it was in Marcus’ mind. But very satisfying. With that meeting he was officially in the man’s mind, and from that step Marcus could slowly get to know the man. Trying to engage him in conversations whenever he could.

 

And it worked, Marcus could see that. Severus Snape definitely kept his attention on him. Marcus had decided to up his game, to get to the point where Severus wasn’t defensive around him, and he will be more comfortable and relaxed when they interact.

 

But before that could happen, the man was gone. A sickness that required attention from Madam Pomfrey. Who later on came and talked to him about how he was _one of his cure,_ or something like that.

 

And here he was now, in the infirmary, right in front of the private room. Marcus knew that the man would be inside; Poppy had no reason to lie.

 

His heart also knew that, whatever happens in the room will decide the fate between him and Severus, and his heart was pounding.

 

Intellectually he knew he shouldn’t be hesitating – there was no reason for him to. He shuffled his feet as he contemplated the door knob. Briefly he wondered what he would see inside. Then he rolled his eyes. _I’ll know when I open the damn door._

Which was exactly what he did.

 

* * *

 

The smell of an omega was the very first thing that hit him when he opened the door. Then it was a sharp intake of breath, and a hissed ‘Close the door!’. He did what he was told – he stepped in and closed the door behind him.

 

Marcus laid his eyes on the person on the bed, who was sitting up and glaring at him. A second intake of air told him something quite shocking to his unsuspecting mind.

 

The omega on the bed was pregnant. And that omega looked like Severus Snape, whom everyone knew was an alpha.

 

Severus Snape was pregnant. That’s why he was out of commission, and it was probably the reason why he fainted in class that day.

 

Marcus’ mind was flashing with information, and lines connecting them. While he was thinking, he kept quiet, and only gazed on one point passed Severus’ shoulder. He made sure his face was blank, trying to keep his emotions in, or else he would be jumping in shock and yelling “Severus is pregnant” to everyone who can hear him.

 

_Marcellus, calm._

 

However, that non-responsive reaction made the man uncomfortable, because it wasn’t long before the man snarled defensively. ‘What in Merlin’s name are you doing here?! Poppy assured me no one knew I was here!’

 

Marcus blinked, and refocused. He took a few steps towards the side of the man, avoiding the direct path, as a small gesture to Severus saying that _‘I’m not attacking you’._ It wasn’t very effective – Severus only tensed even more, and turned to face him.

 

The scent of an omega in distress intensified, and _that_ made Marcus paused in his steps. Only the truly disturbed and crazy would enjoy that scent. And as if knowing that was the reason he paused, Severus only hissed in displeasure, and attempted to pull the covers up to his shoulders to hide himself.

 

If it was in a different situation, Marcus would openly admit that the action was cute. But it wasn’t the time for that now.

 

There were so many things Marcus could start with. _How are you an omega?_ Or _Are you an omega hiding as an alpha, or had something happened to you that made you an omega?_

 

Yeah, the later was not likely, but it was something that flashed through Marcus’ mind.

 

_Why are you hiding? Why did Madam Pomfrey and Headmaster Dumbledore insisted that there was nothing wrong with you? Why are they hiding your secret?_

_How are you pregnant?_ Was another stupid question that actually made him want to snort, which he managed to change into a sharp huff of breath. Laughing now certainly wouldn’t help any matter.

 

And that question led him, quite quickly, to the question that he ultimately asked.

 

‘Severus, did you even tell anyone that you were raped?’

 

It was a mistake, on second thought. It was too straightforward, not at all suitable for someone like Severus Snape in this situation. But that was the thing with words. You can’t backspace or undo. You can’t take it back. Not only that, but he used a tone the he realised, in an afterthought, would rile the man up.

 

The man on the bed immediately raged fire, as he predicted. His hands released the white covers, one went under his pillow, the other grasping at the bedsheets under him. The white sheets fell to his legs, forgotten.

 

‘Do. Not. Even. Speak of it!!’ Severus Snape spitted out in rage. ‘Do you think it was that easy? Like something to talk about during tea? Breakfast?

 

‘It is shameful, disgusting! Why the hell should I just, what, announce how pitiful I was, that I got attacked when I was so stupid to let my guard down? That one of the three heroes that defeated Voldemort, was defeated himself by merely four Death Eaters! That an alpha was fucked by other alphas, and he almost. Enjoyed. IT!’

 

The wand raised to his face was not a surprise to Marcus. He only raised his own two hands up in the universally accepted gesture of surrender. ‘Severus…’

 

Marcus refrained from saying _calm down,_ because everyone knew saying that would just get people worked up even more. And Severus looked so red in the face, his wand hand shaking. He was now crouching on the bed, wearing a hospital gown. All his focus was on Marcus, and with so much anger behind it, it was not pleasant at all.

 

‘You must think me so pitiful! You _knew_ what happened, Merlin you must have laughed your heart out that day! It must be utterly ridiculous that an alpha would be raped, I was surprised it wasn’t in the news! You must have planned something, just to get yourself into Hogwarts. Here to see the pathetic man, to see if he had killed himself yet!

 

‘If he killed himself, he must have been a weakling, can’t even handle that bit of pain. If he _didn’t_ kill himself, he must have been enjoying it! Enjoy having an unwanted prick up his arse! Must have been such a slut, a whore!’

 

By the end of that tirade Severus had his wand lowered by his side but still held tight. His head was bowed to let his hair cover his eyes, acting as a shield. He had sat back down on his bed, his back bent, his shoulders slumped forward.

 

His other hand was clutching on his stomach, his nails digging through the thin clothing to his flesh.

 

‘Severus!’ Marcus’ heart ached at the self-hating tone. He took an unconscious step forward to the man who he considered his friend, if not someone he admired.

 

‘But now I bet it’s even better for you, right?’ Severus continued, not looking at him. ‘The omega faking as an alpha, and being fucked by three men and one woman, all alphas. Bet that must be what you’d be thinking of when you’re wanking at bed!’ Here the angered man raised his head so quickly, his eyes glaring daggers.

 

‘Did you imagine me being raped? Moaning? Crying? Would you like a pensieve to watch my memory? I’ll bet that people would pay money to see that – Hogwarts’ Greasy Bastard being buggered by Death Eaters, begging for his life! Not that I _care_ about my life, after this. Should have slit my throat the moment I got to Hogwarts, but I didn’t have the time, did I…’

 

‘Shut up now.’ Marcus saw red, and decided that he had enough of Severus’ tirade. He stalked forward to the figure on the bed.

 

Perhaps he was worried about how the man before him was so much unlike the usual Severus Snape that he had interacted with, that he had admired. Perhaps he was frustrated, that someone could _say_ things like this about themselves. Perhaps he was angry, that people could hurt and bring harm to others without a care for the world.

 

Perhaps his mind was still blank due to him discovering that his friend, his crush was hiding his own secondary gender for so long.

 

Marcus grabbed Severus by his collar, and shoved his face right in front of his, making eye contact. ‘You are not a whore, nor a slut, or anything of that sort, and I refuse to let you demean and degrade yourself. You are not at fault here!’

 

Severus’ dark eyes were wide, his mouth slightly slack to the side. The man under his hand was shaking, but then Marcus realised it wasn’t Severus, it was _him_ who was shaking. Both of them were breathing too hard for such a confrontation, as if they had run in a race that had no end.

 

Then the unthinkable happened. Severus let out a heart-wrenching groan, and shoved his nose up to Marcus’ neck, deep scenting him.

 

Scenting him… as how someone would scent their mate for comfort.

 

* * *

 

 

It was one of those moments where you are just a passenger to whatever your body is doing. You are there behind your eyes, watching as your body moves, but it isn’t you behind the wheels, it isn’t you controlling your actions.

 

Just like that, Severus watched himself pushing his nose against Krant’s neck, and inhaled the man’s personal scent like it was nectar. He felt like he was a man in thirst for years, before finally finding a well of cool sweet water. He felt like he was drowning, and finally got his hands on a float.

 

He felt utterly disgusted with himself, with his weakness, yet incapable of stopping.

 

He felt _at home, at peace._

His wand fell from his fingers onto the bed, but he didn’t care. It freed his hands to get tangled up in Krant’s robes at his sides. The heat at the side of his face, the part where he was in contact with Krant’s neck.

 

The man he was touching was frozen, tensed, as if one mere push would have broken the man to two. But Severus didn’t have the space in his mind to care about that. He was busy taking numerous deep breath, trying to commit the scent to memory.

 

As if he didn’t have the scent memorised that day when he first met Krant.

 

It was as if he knew, deep inside him, that this action of his was unforgivable. Scenting someone so intimately without the other’s consent was abominable. A reason why Potter’s actions towards Longbottom that time was so surprising, and unacceptable.

 

An action so unacceptable Severus knew very well that it was just a matter of time when the man beside him would push him away, and leave. For good.

 

_That’s what I want. I want him to leave me alone. I deserve no kindness, nothing._

The yearning was just something he had to go through on his own.

 

The push against his chest was both devastating and expected. He complied willingly, but not forgetting to scent the man for the last time. Since he had already humiliated himself utterly, might as well take everything that he could.

 

As Severus moved away from the warmth, he kept his head down, gaze on the blank, white sheet. He untangled his fingers from Krant’s robes, and kept them to his lap. It was then he realised how…close the two of them had come.

 

Without either of their notice, even when Severus was the one who leaned in to scent his mate, Krant also leaned forward. A belated observation told Severus that just as he was pre-occupied on scenting Krant, the man was also trying to do the same back to him.

 

The expression on his face only told Severus just how good his potion was at hiding an omega’s identity. Even after three days of him having the anti-suppressant potion, only his natural omega scent reappeared. He had felt marginally better, which only showed that his body had begin to produce the omega hormones needed to maintain a pregnancy. It wasn’t enough to ensure that both him and the…foetus in him to survive. After all, he had lost a few months’ worth of hormones, but it was a start.

 

But the glands making his omega hormones, his omega scent, and the ones responsible for his personal scent were different. One was his reproductive glands, one was his scent glands at the base of his neck.

 

If Krant didn’t smell _home_ in him, there was only few possibilities. Either his scent glands were permanently destroyed by his potion, or his potion was just that strong, or he wasn’t Krant’s mate after all.

 

Severus didn’t know which explanation he preferred.

 

‘Explain. Now.’ The alpha, _his mate_ his mind whispered, demanded. His face was blank, an expression Severus had never seen on him.

 

The man was expressive with his face, his emotions. Twitch of an eyebrow, biting his lips, crease on his nose and forehead. Or fidgeting fingers, tightening fists.

 

Severus knew he was facing a truly angered alpha in front of him, and did what he had never done before in his life.

 

He turned his head downwards to the side, baring his throat _and his scent glands_ as a show of submission of an omega to an alpha. It was instinctive, quick, reflexive.

 

The Dark Lord hadn’t been able to earn this. Albus Dumbledore hadn’t been able to earn this. No one had.

 

_He hated this. This was everything he didn’t want to happen when he realised he was an omega when he was eleven. The submitting, the debasing of self in front of an alpha, just because of their gender._

His hands were shaking.

He heard a gasp, and from the corner of his eyes, Krant diverted his eyes and turned his head away.

 

Severus’ non-existing heart broke into pieces.

 

He had just been rejected. It didn't matter than he hadn’t asked. He had been rejected.

 

_He didn’t know what’s wrong with him. He never wanted to be claimed by another. He knew, as well as all omegas should, that a bite on his scent glands would bond them together. He didn’t want to be claimed._

_But he wanted to be claimed._

_He…_

_He didn’t know what he wanted anymore._

 

Swallowing, he did his best to turn back, hiding his exposed neck once again. Seeing movement, Krant imitated him, and returned to looking at him.

 

‘Explain.’ He repeated, this time his tone was gentler, but non-the-less demanding.

 

‘There is nothing to explain. I made a mistake, and I will not repeat it again. Now leave me alone.’

 

It was obvious that it wasn’t enough for the alpha. He frowned, and crossed his arms, the action made him leaned a little away from Severus.

 

‘Severus, we both know that _that_ will never be a mistake. I heard what happened to Potter and Longbottom, and I know that they are mates.’ He was talking about how Potter had deep-scented Longbottom in public, much like what Severus had done to him.

 

The fact that Krant knew that was surprising, because the ones involved directly in that incident (and therefore had a better view on the two Gryffindors’ relation than others) had all decided to put this as Potter being a little delusional due to a fever.

 

Reprimands were made, everything was fine. If people had noticed the two young men’s closeness they chalked it up as weird Gryffindor friendship, whereby humiliation was the best starter to friendship. Potter hadn’t told anyone about Longbottom being his mate, because _everyone_ knew two alphas cannot be mates.

 

Who knows, perhaps Potter had confided to someone; it was none of Severus’ business, and by that time he wasn’t paying attention to Potter’s antics.

 

Meanwhile, Krant was still talking. ‘-bottom was sick, was under your care, then all of a sudden Potter was moaning about his personal scent being wrong. Another of your potions, then everything was well again. Personal scents, Severus, going wrong, just like yours now.

 

‘What have you done to your personal scent that I can’t even recognise you as my mate?’

 

The accusation hurt even more than the rejection, and Severus closed his eyes, in pain.

_No, now is still not the time to give up. Defend yourself, you worthless piece of shit!_

 

* * *

 

The conclusion that he made wasn’t exactly out of the world, but it was nearly there.

 

Marcus knew in his heart that it was what had happened. This little potion genius must have created something to make his personal scent go wonky, perhaps due to him hiding as an alpha.

 

It explained some things – Severus’ hot and cold attitude towards him (trying to get close to his mate and yet at the same time still in hiding), Madam Pomfrey’s comment about him being part of Severus’ cure (implying that there was something between him and Severus’ sickness AKA his pregnancy).

 

‘You… why aren’t you thinking that I’m lying? That I was pretending that you are my mate?’ The silly man tried to defend himself, but it was glaringly obvious that it was a lie, and Marcus didn’t hesitate to call that out.

 

‘Do you think me a fool? That I’ve never seen mates scenting each other? You _deep-scented_ me. For me, that’s enough of a prove.’ Marcus shifted his weight to the other foot, his hands still crossed in front of him. ‘Now, please Severus. Explain.’

 

He was starting to become frustrated. All he wanted was an explanation. About the reason why he never told Marcus that they are mates, about his hiding as an alpha, about his pregnancy.

 

As his mate, he had the right to know.

 

The frustration bled through his tone and body language. The answer he got made it even worse.

 

‘No.’

 

‘Severus Snape.’

 

The man glared at him so hard that at the back of his mind he feared Severus’ eyeballs would fall off. ‘No! I do not need to explain to you _anything!_ You are no one to me!’

 

That made his temper flare.

 

‘I AM YOUR MATE! I deserve EXPLANATION!’

 

‘Just because you are my mate doesn’t mean you get to CONTROL EVERY PART OF MY LIFE! I am NO ONE’S property, you do not own me, you do not get to demand me to do anything! I don’t need to do whatever you say! I AM MY OWN PERSON!’

 

Marcus didn’t notice this, but Severus had his wand back in his hands. But he realised this when Severus raised his hand to flick his wand at Marcus.

 

He found himself being pushed to the door, and slammed his back to it. The knob that crashed to his side made him gasp in pain. The force was so strong that he knew he would have bruises.

 

‘You don’t get to control me just because I am your omega! I am not your PET! Now GET OUT AND LEAVE ME ALONE!’

 

Magic so strong it was visible swirled violently around Severus’ person. It was dark, defensive, and it finally dawned on him that he had used the wrong method to deal with this. To deal with Severus.

 

There was so many things he still didn’t know about Severus, and that was one of the reason why he had stepped wrongly. Now both of them were too agitated for any conversation to be of any use.

 

They both need to separate. Severus needed to calm down, Marcus himself had to calm down and rethink his strategy.

 

‘Fine.’ Was what Marcus said, before turning to open the door.

 

Before he left though, he risked one backward glance. But Severus was still too defensive, tense, and ready for any attack that he didn’t know will never come.

 

Marcus nodded resolutely. Yeah, it’s time for a retreat. He’ll come back later when he had gathered some information.

 

So he left, closing the door behind him with a resounding click.

 

* * *

 

The thing was, that Marcellus Krant was taught responsibility at a young age. He had thus embraced that as his life motto.

 

He was responsible for his immediate family – his parents and his siblings. That was why he grew up never questioning why his younger siblings can come home late, can skip grand family dinners. It was because he was the _one,_ the eldest to take care of them.

 

The only reason why he abandoned his role as the head of house was because he was abandoned by his family first. He was cast out, and it was obvious that he wasn’t wanted any longer.

 

But more than that, he had absorbed other values in his childhood. The fact that he as the older must take care of the younger. He who was more familiar must guide the unfamiliar. He as an alpha must take care of others, no matter their gender – because alphas are born as leaders, and leaders take care of others.

 

Most of all, he as someone who is healthy, capable, must take care of his mate.

 

Marcus didn’t care that he couldn’t scent _home_ in Severus. The established fact was that Severus _believed_ that his personal scent was home to him. It didn’t seem to be a prank, nor a ploy to get to Marcus. It was just…unfortunate that the potion master had done something to his body in self-defence, and caused Marcus a unrefutable fact to ensure that Severus was indeed his mate.

 

So he would do what he was taught to do – take responsibility.

 

Madam Pomfrey had told him that he was part of a cure, and that had meant that his presence was needed in Severus’ pregnancy. Since he knew next to nothing about a human omega’s pregnancy (he was more towards books about animal pregnancy, or animals in general, because that was what he was more interested in), he also knew nothing about how his presence could help.

 

Additionally, since Madam Pomfrey wasn’t in at the moment (Marcus took a second to determine that it was actually lunch time, so it wasn’t a surprise), the library was the next option.

 

Once he’s done gathering information, and calming himself down (he was still grated at how Severus simply refused to explain why he had hidden his role as his mate from him, but the explosive reaction that came after that accusation was a bit too much for simple guilt. He would have to think back to what was said – well, yelled – by Severus to piece together _that_ particular mystery) – one he calmed down, then only Marcus will return to continue the discussion with Severus.

 

* * *

 

On the other hand, Severus Snape was taught self-preservation. Not directly, no; he learnt by what he saw.

 

He saw that his mother, an omega, was devastatingly thin, and yet still working day and night just to bring some amount of income to their family. He saw that his father, an alpha, sat at the couch wasting the hard-earned money away with booze.

 

He saw his father’s friends, cat-calling a modestly-clothed omega on the streets, while the poor omega only ducked her head and rushed on forward. He saw the shops rejecting to serve an omega because his alpha wasn’t there.

 

He saw alphas as shop owners, betas as shop keepers and cleaners, and omegas as arm-candy, pleasure slaves.

 

It was a darker part of the community, ran by a bigoted alpha male. The children learn very quickly there that you will be honoured and praised for being an alpha, huffed and tongue-clicked as a beta.

 

If God were to hate you so much for being an omega, you either pray you have contacts to get you out of the place, or you stay low, and get yourself an alpha protector immediately.

 

Severus lived his entire childhood learning that you can only depend on yourself. No one is your friend until they want something. It was easy for someone to say that they are with you, only to abandon you the moment you exhausted your usefulness.

 

When he yelled for Krant to leave, what he meant was for the man to get out of the room and out of his life. He didn’t need another complication in his life, another chance for him to depend on someone.

 

Even the presence of his mate would lead to his weakness, and Severus had been weak for so long. Most of his life, his life was dependent on someone else. His father (though he loathed it), Lucius Malfoy during his Hogwarts years, Lord Voldemort, then Albus Dumbledore. Lily was helpful, and she was able to distract him from the things that he didn’t want to give attention to. That just highlighted how their relationship was unbalanced – Severus always needed Lily more than she needed him, and it showed later on in their teenage years.

 

He would have looked down on himself, if not for the fact that for the most of his life, he was actively fighting against someone trying to harm him. Some succeed, some he managed to get away just in time. It shouldn’t be his fault, that he was so weak that he needed some help.

 

But there’s nothing to fight now, other than this _stupid_ pregnancy. And the pregnancy can be easily dealt with.

 

Then, when he leaves Hogwarts, he will leave the other problem behind too.

 

No, not a problem. A distraction. They would be better off without each other.

 

His heart twinged.

 

_Shut up now. You don’t need him. You only think that because that’s what people always say about mates. But you’re broken, made wrong. So what if he’s your mate? You’re not his – it was apparent when he didn’t recognise you. So get out of his life, and stop making trouble for others for a change._

* * *

 

Severus Snape really started to know about the secondary genders when he was around eight years old. When his father was out drinking the money away, his mother had taken a day off from work (rare, because money was hard to come by these days. Even Severus helped out whenever he could, by not eating much, taking good care of his belongings, helping someone with tasks and asking for some things in return, like food or pocket money).

 

The both of them were in Severus’ small room, sitting side by side on Severus’ creaky bed. His hands was in his mother’s, as she started speaking about the differences that he could see between different genders.

 

Eileen started with something easier, with males and females. It became a small quiz, with Severus listing out some differences, physical and otherwise, between girls and boys.

 

Then she moved on to the secondary genders, the alphas, betas and the omegas.

 

At that point of life all Severus knew was that alphas are good, betas are average, and omegas are bad. He knew that most of the men in this part of the town were alphas, and most of the women were betas and omegas.

 

He knew that Mr Johnson that’s handling the bar was an alpha because he was always frowning and projecting menace when Severus went to collect his drunk father with his mother. He knew that Mr Lang _call me Pete please_ was an alpha because he always leers at the younger girls in the town. Even Eileen had told Severus to run whenever he saw the man.

 

He knew that Mrs Parvil in the flowershop was a beta, and she’s always smiling towards her customers, but chased the small children away from her shop because _you all will ruin my flowers!_ Mr Steve is a beta, and will let Severus have some of the almost-stale candies for free if he asked nicely.

 

He knew that near the alley, which he was _forbidden to go, how many times have I told you, Severus!_ were all the omegas. They lured men in, then those men came out with a smile, and they would be on the ground. Severus thought that they were hurting, but when he wanted to move closer to see if he could help, they would stand up quickly, assured him that he was fine _don’t come close young one! This isn’t for you._

He knew that Stella in one of the other pubs was an omega, because she always smiled at the customers, and blinked so much as if she always had something in her eyes. But she was shivering every time Severus saw her, because she was barely clothed. Mother never let him enter that shop either, so like a little child he was, he rebelled against the rule, and sneaked a few peeks through the window.

 

There was one time that he saw other people smacking and hurting Stella, and everyone else was laughing. He didn’t know what to do, and he tried to tell someone in the next shop (Mrs Klein, a beta). The elderly woman only shook her head, and scolded Severus for wandering to where he shouldn’t go. And that he would understand when he’s older, and _soon enough you will do the same thing to other omegas, Snape. Just you watch._

Severus knew that alphas are dangerous, betas are nice sometimes, and omegas are always sad and being hurt.

 

Eileen kept quiet as her son was talking, only to sigh and croon towards her child, and gathered Severus into her arms.

 

‘My poor son, I am so sorry for what I have done. If I was, is just a little bit stronger…’

 

She explained that she was also an omega. It was a family curse – every omega Prince will always give birth to omega children, no matter who the sperm donor was. She had hidden herself as a beta to her husband, believing that the man was truly what she had wanted, even without the mate scent.

 

She told him what to expect as an omega – the heats, specifically. Then the fact that everyone considers them weak, but they are not. It was telling for young Severus that when he asked for examples, for evidence that omegas aren’t weak, his mother stayed silent, and changed the topic.

 

She told him of the monthly bleeding, even though that only occurs for females. But some omega males retained that part of the biology, and she wasn’t sure whether Severus would be menstruating or not.

 

She told him of the hormones, about the effects of his hormones and pheromones to other genders. She explained and pointed out his scent glands near his neck, and told him about small scent glands near his private parts. She told him about pregnancy, how someone get pregnant (without going through too much details).

 

Then, she told him stories. Stories about mates, about scenting home in someone. That’s when you know the universe had planned, had given the perfect mate for you. She gave him warnings, about how if he would ever scent home in someone, to never let them go.

 

_‘But mother, what is the scent of home?’_

_‘You will know when you smell it, Severus. At least, that’s what they say.’_

Lastly, she taught him how to hide anything that was omega in him.

 

Eileen Snape, to everyone who knew her by that name, was a beta. Soft-spoken, but willing to do any respectable work for money to take care of her home, like how a beta supposed to be.

 

She taught him how to hide his scent, his pheromones. How to avoid heats by taking which medications, how to avoid pregnancy. Warned him that he should always allow the fourth heat to go on as normal, because it was bad for his health if he suppressed all his heats.

 

_‘If you don’t want anyone wondering about your health, let the fourth one, latest, to go on as usual. It is very easy for people to notice an omega who had stopped all his/her heats. You’d get sweats, and feverish, and you would just start to only concentrate on people of other secondary gender. Then, when it had gone on long enough, you would lose your mind.’_

She mentioned all the places, here in the Muggle world, and in the Wizarding world, how to get those suppressants, and artificial scents.

 

_‘I used to brew my own suppressants, but since I married your father… I would leave my recipe for you. Perhaps you may be able to brew it when you are in Hogwarts.’_

Speaking of Hogwarts, Eileen then spun tales of wonder and amazement to her young son, about this wonderful place where magic is accepted, and encouraged. Where all children of all genders can play around without worries of being attacked due to their gender. A place where being clever would be rewarded instead of a beating.

 

Severus soaked it all in, knowing that all of this information will save his life someday.

 

It was the best day of his life, bonding with his mother, listening to tales and stories from her childhood, about magic, about happiness. About somewhere just, not here.

 

So, obviously it was a great shock to the young eleven year old when he finally came to Hogwarts. Bullies, even on the train itself. Being Sorted into the Bad house (even though his mother was a Slytherin too, but everyone else said that it’s a bad house, because all the dark lords came from there), and thus causing him to be split from Lily, his best and only friend. Even the professors were biased. Not all of them, but most.

 

Some of the First Years had already presented. Generally children around the age of twelve will start to present, but there were some early presentation. One of the boys in Slytherin was an alpha, and another boy in Ravenclaw was an omega.

 

Severus, thanks to his mother, had already known what to expect. From the moment he could get away with it, he would steal some of the potion ingredients from the storage when Professor Slughorn wasn’t looking.

 

He wasn’t made out of money, after all. He needed to save them to get artificial scents, which is difficult to brew, at least at his current level of mastery.

 

Watching as the others around his age, observing how an alpha should act like. How a rut looks like. Even before he physically entered Hogwarts, he already had a plan in his mind.

 

Tell his classmates and professors that he had a rut at home when he reached twelve, while telling his parents (technically, just his father, who will spread the news all around the town) that he had a rut when he was at Hogwarts.

 

Unlike omegas who have heats once every three to four months, alphas have ruts once every six months. Suppressants do wonders to that, by suppressing ruts and heats totally. But at the very least, an omega has to have a heat once a year, and the same goes for alphas. Something about their bodies and hormones, and that if you stop them completely your whole body system will start to crumble and die off. Severus would learn everything about the effects of this to a human body, but not until he was older.

 

He had everything planned out. Having the perfect excuses for anyone who asked. He gathered information about omega heats, alpha ruts, just about anything and everything. He might have to imitate a rut later on in his life, and any information he could get about them would only help.

 

But the longer he stayed at Hogwarts, in the Wizarding World, the more something does not make sense.

 

Omegas here were…well treated. They were not slaves, servants, pleasure. Hell, omegas can even be a professor! Heats were nothing to be afraid of, because the first virgin heat was mild, and later after that suppressants help the omega tide through most of the heat.

 

Omegas weren’t viewed as inferior, they were on equal footing to alphas and betas. And that, to Severus, seemed impossible and unbelievable.

 

It was then that had started his less-than-pleasant opinion towards his mother. Why would his mother, an omega, leave such a fantastic place just to be with his asshole father, and that stupid society?

 

An idea went through his head, one time during his First Year.

 

He could just stay in the Wizarding World. Omega or not, there will always be a decent job for him. He will be treated decently. Suppressants will not be as expensive as hell. He won’t need to debase himself, embarrass himself, to get even a little bit of money to be able to fill his stomach.

 

He carried that happy thought back home during Christmas, eager to tell his mother of his ingenious plan.

 

His father brought that plan to pieces.

 

A few days after he was home, his father sent his mother out on an errand. It was apparent he wanted to talk to Severus alone.

 

The man was on his couch, beer in his hand. Severus was standing in front of him, his head ducked down. His fingers ached with the need to fidget, but he knew his father hated that, and Severus had desperately tried to cut off the habit. At that age, he still hadn’t managed to quit.

 

Standing there, feeling as if he was the size of an ant underneath a boot, he knew what this conversation will be.

 

It wasn’t even much of a conversation, just a one-sided threat.

 

Yes, threat.

 

‘I see you boy, running around with that dress of yours with that girl you met. And you go to the café, helping them. Having that damned hair. You a sissy? A fucking shirt-lifter?!’

 

Severus shook his head violently. ‘No!’

 

‘Ha! I doubt that!’ The man slammed his alcohol down on the table and loomed over the young boy.

 

Looking close to his father face, Severus could see all the resemblance. He was definitely his father’s son, down to the nose, the teeth, and his temper.

 

‘You better watch out, boy. The moment you present, if you have your heat! Ha! The first thing I will do is to test if all omegas like cocks just the same! See if you smell just like your mother; moan like her too! Then I’ll sell you to the Alphas here, you think what you earn by scrubbing dishes are good? Wait til you see how much people pay to fuck a whore of an omega like you!

 

‘Better watch out, boy! If you’re an alpha, I’ll teach you all the tricks as an alpha. How to get the whores to suck your dick, how to beat up the other alphas getting in your way, how to control those spineless betas.

 

‘But the moment you show me you’re an omega, don’t you even think about going back to that stupid school; what is it, Hogwash or some shit. I’ll keep you here, and earn money with you!’

 

With that he returned to his drink and his telly. Severus scrambled up to his own room.

 

_No_

_No no no_

_He cannot… cannot!_ Just thinking about what can be done to him was disgusting enough that he could taste bile in his mouth. He knew about sex, he knew what was done when an omega goes into heat, what had to be done to stop the heat.

 

He knew about rape, and how some people never recover from it.

 

He will not allow his father to do that to him. Never.

 

He was wrong. Being an Omega will never be a good thing. Even if he had escaped from his father’s clutches, who knows what will happen in the Wizarding World? Just because one part of the society is accepting, that does not mean that everyone agrees.

 

Severus knew very well that it only takes one person who believed that Omegas were only good for sex, and he will be in danger.

 

There was only one thing to do. With his mother’s help, he gathered everything he needed. And when he returned to Hogwarts for the second half of his First Year, he claimed to be an alpha, with scents and hormones and all.

 

People congratulated him. The bullying stopped for a while, until one of the Marauders presented as an Alpha too. And it began once more.

 

He returned home, and people congratulated him too. But it was a different tone. People of Hogwarts congratulated him for maturing into a man. People of Spinner’s End congratulated him for being an Alpha. Even his father was glad and actually took him out for dinner, as an Alpha-to-Alpha time with each other.

 

Severus felt sick, and vowed never to let anyone know about his secret, not even Lily, whom he had thought might be accepting. But she was in the Muggle World too, and living so close to Spinner’s End, she would no doubt have the same views towards omegas.

 

And one fine day during his Second Year, he went into heat. It was a close call, and Severus thanked all the gods he knew that when his heat started, his body had let him know by the twisting in his stomach, and not the humiliating feeling of slick in his arse. He knew without a doubt that he will go into heat.

 

Praise Merlin and the Lord, it was a Friday. He had already found a great place for his inevitable heat – if he wished it, no one will know he was inside, and no one will find him if he did not want to be found.

 

The room was weird – it’s on the Seventh floor and you need to pace in front of it to have it opened. But Severus already knew that, and by the time his heat really started, he was already safe inside the room.

 

There he stayed for two days. Normally virgin heats should only be of one day, but his body was triggered by the scent of alpha.

 

The scent that he was wearing.

 

He was a bloody idiot, but what’s done was done.

 

When he could finally come out of the room, he was approached by his Head of House, and the Headmaster. He stuttered out his greetings. Then he was told that apparently his disappearance was causing a distraught from his house, and it was very worrying.

 

Severus Snape was a clever boy. He had planned out every outcome, and he had prepared accordingly. This situation that he was encountering now was just one of the many situations that he imagined would happen, and he was ready to face this.

 

He stepped into his _innocent, stuttering, shy boy’s face,_ and acted his way out of it.

 

_He just wanted some peace and quiet. He wanted to brew something that he was afraid he wasn’t allowed to do. And he needed the peace and quiet when he was creating something new. The room was very safe, he wasn’t harmed. Really, he just wanted to be alone. Where is the potion? Oh it’s here – a new cure for scars that are recently made. Yes Professor, you may have it. I was just curious. I’m so sorry for being a trouble, really. I will accept any punishment._

And that set a pattern for Severus Snape, the wannabe genius inventor, for every year, at random times, he would disappear to the Room of Requirements to brew, and he will either come out with a successful potion, or a spell. Sometimes he would fail, but that would be followed up by a frantic and obsessive search in the library until he had done what he wanted, or really resigned that his skills were not up to par yet.

 

It was a perfect excuse for Severus to safely have his yearly heats in Hogwarts. The Room never let anyone near him, and food would magically appear in the room when he required sustenance. And he was safe from being assaulted by alphas.

 

And that was how he had lived, for decades. Once he was a professor in Hogwarts, he no longer had the time nor excuse to repeat his stunt in the Room, so using his yearly Christmas break, he would have his heat in a safe house, spelled to not allow anyone close, and to contain his heat scent so no curious busy-bodies came to poke their nose around.

 

He hated each and every heat of his. They signified how _weak_ he was, how his own _biology_ will always fail him. He hated that no matter what he did, the efforts he made to make sure his reputation as a strong Alpha and an independent man is impenetrable, come the time of his heat and he would be reduced to a slobbering, pathetic mess.

 

Always fearing if someone were to scent him. Paranoid if someone knew his true gender and will harm him, rape him into submission. And he would let them, because he was Omega. Consent will never matter then, only his body desperate for being bred and having pups.

 

Even now, decades after his virgin heat, with no one the wiser to his gender to three person who knew, and one among them was an Alpha – Severus was still scared. No, he was beyond terrified.

 

So much had happened, and so much was happening.

 

His suppressants failed due to a potion accident. His rape (and wasn’t that an irony, that he was raped not because he was an Omega, but because he was an “Alpha” to his rapists). The appearance of his mate, where his scent was so wrong (all of his own doings) that _his own mate did not recognise him._ Him being pregnant with his rapist’ child.

 

His true gender being found out by three - no, not only three, what about the students?! – people when he wasn’t ready to tell (he’ll never be ready). His mate finding out how wrong, how broken he was, because his body couldn’t even produce the correct scent.

 

And now…

 

And now his mate finally figured out that Severus was faulty, defective, broken.

 

* * *

 

_‘You don’t get to control me just because I am your omega! I am not your PET! Now GET OUT AND LEAVE ME ALONE!’_

_‘Fine!’_

 

The thing was, that Marcellus Krant was taught responsibility at a young age. He had thus embraced that as his life motto.

 

So when he left, he left with the understanding that he would be back. That this wasn’t over yet, because Severus Snape was his mate. And even if in the end Marcellus would never scent home in Severus, Severus will still be his responsibility, and his mate.

 

On the other hand, Severus Snape was taught self-preservation. With that, he learnt to never expect anything, to always take things literally, the way they are, because most probably that was the safest bet.

 

When Krant said ‘Fine!’ and left. After Severus yelled at him to leave him alone. Severus knew, deep in his heart that the man would never return.

 

Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe. Just the thought of it-

 

He was gasping for air, his fingers clutching his chest. But air won’t go into his lungs. His shoulders shaking- his whole body was shaking. His fingers started to go numb. He still can’t breathe. There was a weird gasping sound, but it seemed far away, faint. He suddenly realised that everything was dark.

 

He had squeezed his eyes shut.

 

He still can’t breathe.

 

He was having a panic attack.

 

* * *

 

Marcus paused when he was steps away from leaving the Infirmary. Something was wrong.

 

He looked back to the room where Severus was in. The door was shut, and the gap between the door and the doorframe was totally covered by magic. No sound and no scent will be able to pass from that door to outside.

 

But something made him stop.

 

Instinct told him to stay and think about what he had last said. That question was easily answered. Severus had told him to leave him alone, and he said fine.

 

But Marcus wasn’t truly going to leave the man alone. He was just having a tactical retreat.

 

…

 

But Severus didn’t know that.

 

Knowing the man as well as he was now, Marcus knew that the man takes things way too literally sometimes.

 

Would Severus truly believe that Marcus would leave him alone forever? That’s preposterous, Marcus had responsibilities towards him, and he took his responsibilities seriously.

 

Marcus shuffled his feet. On one hand, it wouldn’t really hurt to go and check up on the man? The man was, after all, pregnant, and hormones would make anything and everything worse when you are emotional. But on the other hand, Marcus had wanted to let the man calm down first, and going back now might make Severus get even angrier.

 

Another second spent on hesitation, and he bit his lip. _Nah, who cares if the man will get angrier, angry Severus I can manage. But if the stupid idiot really believes that I would abandon him, then that wrong preconception has to be corrected immediately._

Decision made, Marcus made his way back to the door, and opened it without any knocking.

 

* * *

 

Later, Severus would tell Poppy that he really couldn’t remember anything, except for being safe. He couldn’t breathe, but suddenly he could, bit by bit. He could hear sounds of encouragement, feel the arms around his shoulders and hands, and smell the scent of home.

 

When he could finally breathe properly, he passed out. It was as if after the panic attack, his body just gave up and quit. Just before he blacked out though, he could feel his body slumping towards the closest physical object.

 

Gentle hands shifted his head, and he breathed in _home,_ and instinctively he knew it would be alright. And once his body had gotten that signal, he passed out.

 

The story was clearer in Marcus’ point of view. The Alpha had rushed towards the bed where Severus was, the scent of a distressed Omega potent in the air.

 

He had done everything someone who was witnessing a panic attack had done – telling him to breathe slowly, comforting him and telling him that he was safe. But the other man was still shaking on the bed, curled up and with his eyes closed.

 

When Marcus got closer, he warmed his arms around Severus from the side, and angled it so that Severus’ head was close to his scent glands at his neck. Slowly, he could feel the shoulders under his arms rising up and down, and the man was finally taking deeper breaths.

 

The scent must have gotten through Severus then, because he could see that he was calming down, and the scent of omega in distress was diminishing a little.

 

When finally Severus’ body relaxed enough for him to slump down against him, Marcus gave a sigh of relief. His hand automatically went to Severus’ face, caressing – something that he would never be allowed to do if Severus was still awake and conscious.

 

That was when Madam Pomfrey rushed into the room, wand at hand to assist Severus, whom she definitely had a spell on him to keep track of his vitals. She didn’t seem surprise to see Marcus there – she was, after all, the one who told him Severus’ whereabouts.

 

But she was surprised, and very much irritated that he had cause her patient such duress. After dealing with the unconscious man, putting him back to bed and checked over his vitals, Madam Pomfrey sent a demanding glance towards Marcus’ direction.

 

Marcus didn’t even try to defend himself, because it _was_ him that caused this to happen, in part. He summarised his talk with Severus, which mainly consist of him being surprised by what he found out, and Severus being extremely defensive, which was excusable.

 

‘It didn’t go very well,’ Marcus admitted, which earned him an eye-roll from Madam Pomfrey.

 

‘It was obvious from how _Severus had a panic attack._ ’ She wasn’t happy with how Severus was, currently. The man was already stressed enough – any additional burden on his already weakened body will have disastrous results, both on him and the unborn baby.

 

‘To be honest, I really didn’t expect anything that I found out today. I guess I just. I’m overloaded with information, and zero explanations.’ Marcus continued, sitting beside the bed where Severus was laying. He was holding onto his hand – the sweaty cold palm a discomfort, but nothing he couldn’t deal. He was the cause of it, after all.

 

‘I got frustrated, and I wanted to leave before I could do anything worse. But my leaving was the worst thing I have done.’

 

The matron sighed and placed a comforting hand on Marcus’ shoulder. Giving him a squeeze before pulling back. ‘Severus Snape is a strong man, but only when he is certain his walls are up. Once he’s vulnerable, you must be very delicate in your actions.’

 

‘Yes, I thought I have learnt how to be cautious, but it seems that I have much to learn yet.’

 

‘In any case, he is currently stable. I will permit you to remain here, as I guess that you would want to?’ With an agreeing nod from Marcus she moved on. ‘Food will be here soon. When he wakes, try and convince him to eat something, will you? The amount he was eating can’t even feed a sparrow. And may I implore you to please actually be here when he wakes? We don’t need another panic attack, nor something even worse.’

 

Marcus inclined his head. ‘Of course.’

 

* * *

 

For a moment when Severus knew he was awake, but wasn’t awake enough to open his eyes, he debated to just sleep until eternity. Nothing awaits him in the waking world other than suffering and pain. The shame, the accusations, the disgust, the horror, the teasing and bullying.

 

Then he took a deep breathe and told himself to stop being dramatic. After all, he had lived through all those before, during his school years and later during Voldemort’s reign and fall. He lived through it all, and he was still alive, still able to move and eat and drink.

 

An unwanted pregnancy shouldn’t be able to defeat him. The reveal of his true gender shouldn’t be able to make him a coward.

 

Besides, it wasn’t as bad as it could have gone. Not _everyone_ knew about this, and in fact, the ones that knew would most likely never tell. He wasn’t sure about the students, but they did send him letters swearing their silence. Madam Pomfrey definitely will not spread the news – patient’s confidentiality and all. The headmaster seemed to be fine with his condition for now, and he seemed to not want him to leave Hogwarts (although he definitely will).

 

And Krant… This he wasn’t sure, but he was only one man. Severus had dealt with numerous strong wizards in a duel and won, surely he could…deal with him.

 

 _His mate who rejected him. Because of his own stupid mistakes. Perhaps instead of dealing with Krant he should deal with_ himself.

 

That thought surprised him – he hadn’t been suicidal for decades, always the Slytherin and searching for a way to live instead of a way to die. Not wanting to dwell into the familiar dark thoughts, he opened his eyes and was greeted with the white ceiling of the infirmary. The one that he had been staring at for these past few days.

 

‘Ah, are you awake now? Do you need anything?’

 

‘Water…’ He croaked out, his throat dry. Then he registered the person who talked to him.

 

_His mate? But he was rejected? Why is he here?_

A few moments later, a glass of water floated right beside him. Severus struggled to sit up, and hands were there to help him. He wanted to slap them away, but he knew he needed the help. It was as if all of his strength disappeared.

 

Severus grabbed the glass and sipped on the water in it. At the corner of his eyes he watched as Krant sat down on the chair beside his bed. The man’s head was bowed, his hands on his lap. He looked like a school boy about to be scolded by his teacher. Severus could even scent the guilt pouring out of the man.

 

The man thought that he was the cause to Severus’ panic attack. And that was true, in a way. Severus kept quiet though.

 

Krant seemed like he wanted to say something and was searching for words.

 

All Severus could think of was that moment when he barred his throat to him, and was rejected. And so in his weakness, that’s what he asked.

 

‘Why did you reject me?’

 

The alpha seemed surprised, his thoughts disrupted. ‘What?’

 

Severus went silent, as if that question didn’t come from him. His gaze was on his hands, which was gripping tightly onto the bedsheets. He was shaking – either because he was holding on so tightly or was it because he was just absolutely terrified of the answer that might come from Krant. He regretted wording the question, wished that it could be taken back.

 

_What the hell is wrong with me? Since when am I like this? A coward, second-guessing himself._

‘I…’

 

Severus braced himself.

 

‘I didn’t mean to… Everyone knows to pretend nothing happened if an alpha barred his neck…’ Krant trailed off, as if realising something for the first time.

 

_But that was the main issue. I am not an alpha. You know that already._

The silence was heavy, like something that was stuck to your skin, and all amount of scratching cannot remove it. But it was broken when Krant sighed.

 

‘I am so sorry, Severus. I was… I still though of you as an alpha, and instinctively I just… I would _never_ knowingly reject you. I… No matter what you say, I am your mate.’

 

The word mate made Severus raised his head, glaring at him. ‘But you do not know that. It could have been just me trying to lie. Because everyone knows that’s what I’d done for decades, lying my way out of death.’

 

‘Don’t start that again.’ Krant sounded tired when he said that. His hand reached out for a moment before pausing – the man wanted to touch him. Severus was thankful he stopped, he would have to move to slap Krant’s hand away, and he didn’t know if he had the energy to do so.

 

‘No matter what I did or did not scent from you, the one sure thing that I know now is that you and your body thinks and scent me as your mate. In that regard, no matter what I think, I have the responsibility towards you as your mate.

 

‘I would love to have the explanation of how and what in Merlin’s name have you done to yourself, and I think I’ve caught some glimpse of it. But I know now that I shouldn’t have demanded it from you like what I have done just now.’

 

Krant ran his fingers through his hair as he paused, trying to organise his thoughts.

 

‘Instead of asking for explanations, perhaps I should be the one explaining things to you. You think that I am here to gloat, to hit you when you’re already at rock bottom. To make fun of you.’

 

The alpha met Severus’ eyes, and the sincerity was clear.

 

‘I swear in Merlin’s name and my own that that’s not what I wanted at all. I was worried. Worried about someone who was suddenly missing from classes due to a disease. When I’ve noticed that something was wrong with you for weeks, but unable to express them. Then Professor Dumbledore came and said that it was a rare disease, and that you would be out of commission for an indefinite time.

 

‘Without any other information, I was concerned. But I didn’t know what to do – no one was to visit you. The Headmaster wouldn’t even tell us where you are. Imagine my relief when Madam Pomfrey eventually decides to tell me about you and your whereabouts.’

 

His explanation was fine, it even made sense, if not for one thing. And Severus grasped it like a drowning man grasping a floating log.

 

‘But why?’ _Why are you concerned for me?_

Severus’ instinct told him that the man was lying. Years of conditioning had taught him to expect the worst from people, because that was always what he had gotten. Even now he was somehow still expecting Krant to laughing and say something in the line of “I’m just kidding”, or even Poppy or Albus to come in the room, and everything would be _normal._

 

He never expected Krant’s answer. The man had looked into his eyes, and without any hesitating he said: ‘Severus Snape, I was trying to get close to you enough to ask you out on a date.’

 

The first thing that occurred to Severus as a reply was the one that he blurted out. Shock stole his self-control, as he replied ‘But I was an alpha.’ Marcellus Krant had defied everything Severus knew about alphas in general. But nothing had shocked him more than when he implied that he. Liked. Him? Enough to ask for a date?!

 

What.

 

‘And that’s why I wanted to ask you out. I… I think it’s time for me to tell you about myself.’

 

The man cleared his throat, sitting up straighter than he already was, looking like he was about to march into a battle. In a way that was true. He was fighting for something that he had told himself not to for years. Denying a part of himself, but for no longer.

 

‘I was not born Marcellus Krant. I was Marcellus Montage. But on my twenty-first birthday, I was casted out from my family because I was, and am attracted to alphas.’

 

* * *

 

It was years and years ago, but before his twenty-first birthday, Marcus was going by a different name – Marcellus Montage. 

 

He was the eldest child, with a younger sister. His parents were the normal alpha-omega pair that stood for 73% of the pairings in Europe. He had a normal childhood, had a normal puberty where he presented as an alpha, to the delights of his parents.

 

He was the eldest grandson of the head of Montage family, and as such was the next Head of the Montage house. He was also the first alpha among the grandchildrens, followed by Sussanah, his cousin who presented as an alpha a year later.

 

With that title came a lot of money, and properties. Marcellus was groomed to be a head of house even since he was young. Everyone in the Montage family knew it would be him, and treated the young boy well, hoping that once he had the title they would be given some benefits too.

 

He attended a prestigious school far away from Hogwarts, because his family had heard of the war brewing, and knew of Albus Dumbledore and the Boy Who Lived. They did not want to have anything to do with that war.

 

People thought them kind and sweet to be thinking of their child’s safety. Marcellus knew early on that all they care about was him being alive to have the Montage properties, so as his parents they would have a share in it too. He was merely a tool in the family’s fight for money.

 

Grandpa Montage had five children, and each of them had at least two children of their own. You can imagine the family dinner, where everyone tried to act nice and gentle in front of young Marcellus, while elbowing the others away.

 

At the age of fifteen, Marcellus wanted to have nothing to do with the family, but he didn’t know how. So he persevered. He studied the necessary subjects, he took on his favourite ones (Magical and Non-Magical Creatures, and Herbology), and he tried to live with his head low.

 

Then Percival Grant Koraliz appeared in his life, when he was eighteen.

 

He was an exchange student, only to be in their school for one year. He was from Italy, but his English was free from any accents. His voice was deep, his smile inviting others to laugh with him. He was young, and already had some laugh lines on his face. He was fit, the epitome of someone who was a Beater in Quidditch. He was in almost all of Marcellus’ classes, and he was the one who approached him.

 

Percival Koraliz was an alpha, but Marcellus had a crush on him.

 

Turned out, after three months of friendship, a late-night party, an inappropriate amount of alcohol and a kiss, Percival had a crush on him too.

 

They dated secretly, to the frustration of the Italian. Percival told him that where he came from, no one would care that they were essentially in a homosexual relationship. Everyone knew that only those with different secondary gender can be mates, but there wasn’t any rule that they cannot date people of the same gender.

 

It wasn’t as if they had found their mates yet, so they should be able to experiment first. Percival even told him, when they were in his bed, away from prying eyes, that he had been with a number of people, not because he was a slut (here he rolled his eyes and mumbled “Englishmen” with a suffering tone), but because young ones are encouraged to explore and learn.

 

As long as they were practicing safe sex, and had good judgement towards who they bring to their bed, no one would care much.

 

‘Marcellus, when you meet your mate, don’t you think it would be better if one of you had had some experience on love-making, than the both of you blunder through it, and risk making something so wonderful into something painful?’

 

Which, after a second thought, Marcellus definitely agreed.

 

He confided in Percival everything in his life. His family, the stress, the fact that even before Percival he had already noticed the difference between him and his fellow classmates. The way he just could not be attracted to typical omegas, with them portraying themselves as weak things in need of protection.

 

He told him that he was more attracted towards the ones with confidence, the ones who knew what to do, who are strong and try to solve their own problem first before getting help. He loved watching those who can lead, who can control the crowd with sweet words, and can actually do what they said they can do.

 

Essentially, typical alpha traits.

 

Percival, in return, confided in him about his own family. His parents both busy at work in order to take care of their six children. He as the eldest, who had wanted to stop schooling to help them, and was refused. Him coming to England because he was promised an assistant spot for his favourite professor’s research as long as he did well for this year of exchange.

 

He told him how lonely he felt when he first came here, because in a place where the social circle was already formed, it was hard for an outsider to fit in. He told him how hard it was to get rid of any accents in his English, because he heard that was the first thing bullies will target, laughing at your seemingly lack of grasp for a ‘simple’ language even though it would have been your second language and their first. He whispered his homesickness, and his worry for his family.

 

Both of them murmured reassurance to each other, even though the threat of being expelled was on their shoulders.

 

Why? Because in their school, impolite and unseemly behaviour was not tolerated at all. And that includes being in a sexual or romantic relationship with someone of your own secondary gender. They were careful in school, and they knew not to spend too much time with each other. Percival knew to never visit Marcellus at his home, and Marcellus knew to stay over at Percival’s once or twice a month, and to go to his other friends’ sometimes.

 

But they were still found out, and in the worst way possible.

 

Elias Montage, Marcellus’ father found them sleeping together in Percival’s bed, one day. He was told by someone who hated Marcellus, his younger cousin who was in the same school as them. The cousin who always thought that everything Marcellus got was due to him being the eldest Alpha in the family and hated him for his own state of being a Beta and guaranteed nothing from the Montage inheritance. He figured that once Marcellus was out of the picture, he will at least get enough money to live by.

 

All the previous ideas and escape plan escaped their mind when they were violently grabbed from their sweet dreams. They didn’t have time to react before the whole thing blew over. Percival was sent back to Italy without any degree, and his name was blacklisted. He would not be able to enter England within five decades. Marcellus was expelled, and his actions were listed right beside his name for every employer, or basically everyone to see.

 

They were both supposed to graduate a week later, their exams over. They were celebrating, as well as having their last night together before they leave the school to continue with their adult life. And because of their elation, they forgot to be cautious.

 

Instead, Marcellus lost his best friend, his lover, and his family in one day.

 

That day when he was dragged home by his father, he was given an hour to pack his things. Then he was disowned.

 

Marcellus Montage became Marcellus no-name.

 

At least he was given an hour, and he had used them fully. Marcellus wasn’t an idiot. He was the sort of guy to prepare for things that he knew have a chance to occur. He had expected what would happen to him, and had packed accordingly. Money, his books, some clothing, food, some potions.

 

He had spent nights talking to Percival about the ‘what ifs’ and giving each other advices on what to do. They talked about what to bring if Marcellus was kicked out, if Percival was sent back home without a certificate for his studies. What could they do, how would they survive?

 

Because for Marcellus, with that stain behind his name, he would not have a job any time soon. Without a job means no money, and with society like this, death was all too easy.

 

And so Marcellus no-name was cast out of his home, and he spent years slowing moving his way away from his home through the forest. Due to what he learnt in school, as well as from some campers in the forest, he knew what plants can be eaten, what are good for healing potions. He knew which animals can be eaten, which animals can be trained to hunt for him. He made his ways through forests, rivers, entering small villages only to sell anything that he had, and to buy new warm clothings to replace what was torn.

 

It was hard, initially. No matter how much he hated his family, he was raised a pampered prince. Food and clothing are things he could get by a snap of fingers in the past.

 

Years went by, and he learnt, bit by bit, how to survive, and even live his life. He learnt truly how the creatures behaved in the wild. He learnt the reasons why some of the herbs were used instead of the other through trial and error. He learnt to hum songs learnt through sneaking through villagers at night, so he won’t be bored with his own company. He learnt that innate magic could only do so much when you were hurt, and he needed spells and charms to do more sophisticated work.

 

Finally, after eleven years of wandering, he established a home in a small village called Criberia. Technically he wasn’t in the village, but near the edge where village met the forest. Criberia was far away enough from the hustle and bustle of the cities that they wouldn’t know about the Montage scandal, nor would they be interested. As long as Marcus kept his deal of providing certain potions for free, and hunting rare creatures and herbs for sale, the villagers won’t charge him a cent on the property he was given.

 

There he stayed, until a certain dark-haired man came stumbling out of an abandoned hut, looking as if death had visited him. The visit was sudden, short, but its effects was long lasting. He never would have thought that he would meet the man again, but here in Hogwarts, he did.

 

* * *

 

‘And now we’re here.’

 

Marcus had to admit that he was terrified. He had never told anyone of his past. It was still an embarrassment, a disgrace that he was casted out of his family, no matter the fact that he never regretted knowing and loving Percival. His relationship with Percival was a defining moment in his life where he began to truly know and be himself.

 

Telling that to someone was like digging an organ out of himself and handing it out. He wouldn’t actually die, telling his secret, but it would feel like it. The feeling of coming clean was even worse than dying. But if it would increase his chances with the man in front of him, Marcus would take it every time.

 

‘It wasn’t love at first sight, or some idiotic thing like that. I didn’t think of you much after our first acquaintance. But being here, seeing you alive and well. That piped my interest.’

 

‘And you are. Interested. In me.’ It was both a question and a statement, and the tone behind it made Marcus want to touch him. Want to touch the man that he had been wanted to know, to learn, to understand.

 

So he did, telegraphing his movement so slowly that Severus would have dodged it immediately if he wanted too. Hell, a flinch from the man and Marcus would know that it wasn’t time yet.

 

But he didn’t. They both watched as Marcus touched Severus’ hand closest to him. The first contact of warmth surprised both of them, but Marcus was quick to grab onto Severus’ hand, tight enough that Severus would have needed to struggle if he wanted to be let go.

 

But he didn’t. Instead, there was silence as the both of them actually started to comprehend the meaning behind Severus allowing the touch.

 

Merlin, the both of them were acting like teenagers with their first crush.

 

It was a while before Marcus finally spoke. All the while, his touch evolved into small caress, just a gentle swipe of thumb against the veins on the back of his palm. ‘I am. Interested in you. I think you are amazing, what you do. Able to fight for what’s right even though everyone was against you. Strong, physically and mentally. Clever, to come up with potions like they were already listed in books and scrolls. Sick sense of humour, and sassy when you feel like it. The smirk when you insulted someone without them even realising. Thoughtful, no matter what you do.

 

‘A perfect mate, no matter your gender.’

 

Severus was staring at their hands, keeping silent. This time Marcus remained silent with him. He had said his piece. Now it’s Severus’ turn.

 

And he wasn’t disappointed.

 

‘I didn’t let you know that you were my mate because you didn’t react to my scent. When we’re in Criberia. At that time I didn’t realise fully just how much the suppressor would affect the omega’s personal scent. I thought it was just on rare occasions, and so I didn’t look into it. I scented home in you, but you did not. I had wondered… I assumed that it was because I was somehow broken, and did not think further other than to get away from you to… deal with my attack.’

 

The way he said deal made Marcus thought of Severus killing the ones who had attacked him, and Marcus really wouldn’t put it past the former Death Eater. Something nagged at his mind, something that had caused quite an uproar a while ago, but he couldn’t put his thoughts around it, and instead saved it for later.

 

‘The reason why you didn’t realise I am your mate is because the potion I made for omega hormone suppressors specially catered for omegas in hiding. Not only the heat hormones should be stopped, the omega’s scent is altered. The omega scent is suppressed, while their personal scent is changed.’

 

‘But why? Surely the personal scent of someone…’

 

‘Imagine,’ Severus interrupted with his usual lecture tone, _and Merlin was that something nice to hear, because that meant Severus was getting a little closer to normal, and that meant a lot._ ‘If you are an alpha, and you’ve just met who seems to be an alpha, but their personal scent tells you they are your mate. At this current time, there are still no evidence, no data that showed that alphas can be a mate of another alpha.

 

‘Wouldn’t you be surprised, and suspicious that someone of the same gender is your mate? An omega in hiding could not handle that kind of suspicion, because that would lead to them being found out, losing their jobs and careers, even their whole life, the life that they had built would be gone just like that. They hid for a reason, and I would never allow something so simple as personal scent to get into that.’

 

Severus licked his lips. ‘Of course I didn’t knew it then. I did the best I could, and all of my customers said that it was working perfectly, so I continued to produce it with the same ingredients and methods. Perhaps it was because of that that it was so successful, but during that time I was also busy with… things, so I didn’t look into it further.

 

‘Everything I said just now, I realised only when Longbottom had his issues with Potter. It figures, that for all that I’ve done right, there would be a million things that I’d done wrong because of that.’

 

The last sentence didn’t make sense to Marcus, and a look at Severus’ face and posture told him all he needed about the man’s current state. He was almost half asleep, though one wouldn’t know it by a glance.

 

The droopy shoulders and the more frequent blinking told Marcus what he needed though. He got up from where he was sitting and approached the man on the bed. The gentle touch on his shoulder earned him a slight flinch as Severus looked at him.

 

‘What?’

 

‘You need to rest, you look very tired and you’ve gone through a lot in one day.’

 

The man suddenly seemed more awake, his eyes narrowed at him. ‘I thought… I thought you would be happy now that you know what’d happened.’

 

He’d explained why Krant couldn’t scent _mate_ on him. Which was what the man had wanted, even yelled at him for. Now that he knew, he wanted to… leave? Leave him?

 

_I don’t understand._

‘I’m not _happy_ ¸ but I’m glad you told me. Did you tell Madam Pomfrey too? About the effects of your suppressants?’

 

 _Oh, he mentioned Poppy. That means he wants me to fix that soon, right? But I didn’t tell her about the effects on personal scent. I didn’t want her to know that I’m broken, if it_ isn’t _the effects of the suppressants, and I was in fact just broken._

_To tell her would be submitting to testing, and I will_ know.

He was ashamed to admit it, but he was afraid. He had reasoned with himself that no matter what, it would not have a major affect to him and his life, so he did not need to know. That was the reason why he didn’t admit the truth when he first realised the reason Marcellus did not recognise his scent.

 

A punishment for himself, in a way.

 

‘Severus?’

 

He shook his head, knowing that Marcellus was still waiting for his answer.

 

The man only nodded. ‘Alright, enough thinking for today. You need your rest.’

 

The word rest made Severus want to close his eyes immediately. Or maybe it was Marcellus’ tone? Perhaps he was really tired. But was Marcellus really satisfied with the answers he had gotten?

 

_Wait, why do I even care if he was satisfied or not?_

Severus didn’t notice the hand coming towards his face until he was touched. But the touch was light and quick enough for him not to startle too much.

 

Marcellus swept his hair away from his face. ‘Sleep well, Severus. I will come again tomorrow, when you are more awake than this.’

 

The assurance that he will return tomorrow made Severus felt much better, no matter how much he tried to protest it in his mind.

 

‘Good night, Severus.’

 

‘Good… Good night, Marcellus.’

 

Severus missed the soft smile on Marcus’ face when he said his name, but that was because he was closing his eyes, inviting the peaceful darkness to chase away his stress for the day.

 

* * *

 

Marcus didn’t go far when Severus was asleep. The day’s event was a mess in his head, and he needed time to make sense of everything.

 

He didn’t expect to meet his mate in Hogwarts. In fact, he didn’t expect to meet his mate at all. Mates joined together by nature were supposed to be productive – as in, they would be able to produce child.

 

He had thought he was abnormal, in that he was sexually attracted to alphas. He didn’t really understand that he was only attracted to how typical alphas portray themselves, that he wasn’t attracted to just alphas, but the stereotypical alpha behaviour, personality, strength, physically and magically.

 

Marcus thought he would never meet his mate, but there he was, in bed, sleeping. The man that he had in his mind only for a while, when he had left just as quickly as he appeared. He really hadn’t thought about the man until his cousin’s offer to be at Hogwarts. And even then, it was a simple fleeting thought.

 

Their first confrontation was the thing that triggered Marcus’ attention. The fact that even at a disadvantage Severus seemed to be so full of confidence, and so sure of his situation. Someone that doesn’t shatter easily, doesn’t second-guess himself.

 

Slowly Marcus had made his move. Making sure he interacts with Severus Snape at least once per day was easy – the man seemed to gravitate towards him even without anything done on Marcus’ part. Keeping some of his favourite food just to hand it to him when they crossed path in the hallways, never making anything big about it and not stopping to allow the man anyway of rejecting.

 

What he needed was endless patience and injecting himself into a part of his life until the point where if he stopped he would be missed. Marcus was very good at that, with the way he had with the magical creatures.

 

It was unfortunate that Severus got sick – Marcus’ plans had to stop. And by the time he was told Severus’ whereabouts, he was sick with worry. The lies that Severus insisted on telling did not help. Worry came to anger and he had lost his patience, the one thing he should not have done.

 

But it was salvageable. And Marcus let out a high of relief as he watched the man on the bed slumber away. The explanation did not go as well as he had hoped, but it was a start. He could still see the apprehension in Severus' eyes, and he knew that they have a long way to go before things will truly be well. The pregnancy was, frankly, the least of Marcus' worries. Unlike wild animals, humans will not have the instinct to get rid of whatever child that is not theirs. Marcus was certain he will be able to care for a child that was not his, as long as it was Severus'. 

 

Although all of this would be a moot point, if Severus still decides to reject him. But from Madam Pomfrey Marcus knew that to survive the pregnancy and childbirth, Severus needed him close, needed his pheromones. Marcus was not honourable enough to not make use of this. 

 

_Severus Snape is my soulmate, my home. I may not have scented home in him yet, but I am certain that he is mine, and I am his._

 

He had wanted to meet his soulmate for so long, when he finally did it seemed like a dream. But if Severus Snape thinks he can get rid of him that easily, he had another thing coming.

 

Stuck together, for better or for worse.

 

_Mine._


End file.
